It is, as of writing, 1:23 AM on March 28th, 2023 I am now officially, completely, out of the recovery period from the surgery I underwent on February 14th of this year. It's honestly incredibly surreal in a way that feels impossible to put into words that I went from being unable to do anything on my own. Getting out of bed, walking, going up and down the stairs, using the bathroom, showering...all things I needed someone else to do. It wasn't fun, needing help to do things we expect children to do on their own, I was often left crying incredibly hard; it felt impossible to see a light at the end of the tunnel
You never realize just how much you use, and need, your neck for literally everything you do in your day to day until you can't move it anymore. I felt incredible frail, like the slightest bit of whiplash was just going to kill me. A lot of time spent in bed, a lot of time spent binging old episodes of Family Guy because there wasn't much else I could do
I definitely overpacked for my stay at the hospital. Brought my mood journal, my tablet loaded up with movies, my sketchbook, my Nintendo Switch (Persona 5 Royal whoooo) and a graphic novel of The Dark Knight Returns. None of which I actually got to use in there, being knocked out for roughly 80% of the time
To be honest, I don't even really remember that week at all. The anxiety, for sure. But beyond that, flashes, mostly. A lot of sensory overload, but I was too hopped up on the painkillers to really process anything, or form words, or do anything about it. I remember going in that day, signing the release forms, changing into the hospital gown, being too paralyzed with anxiety and fear to move or speak, being comforted by my mom, and then....next thing I know, waking up in recovery
But that's where I'm at now, where I've been and what's been going on
