its so fucking stupid whenever people recommend i make a small business to make money around my pain and fatigue. like you have obviously never owned or been majorly involved in a small business

i really hope i can eventually get to some kind of point where i might be able to do community college courses. its Possible, even if not likely, that having a bit more learning in web design and stuff, and a degree, might make me able to do a low key remote job or at least some freelance shit. but also of course i desperately want to be instructed in art again. structured learning environments do so much for me, when they arent kicking me in the ribs. years ago i took exactly two classes for a semester and it was really good.
of course i have literally no control over whether or not this happens. and im generally extremely tired and frustrated with always just having to hope and wait. i hate that everything i could possibly want in my future is all hiding behind locked doors that everyone else has the keys to and i never will.