cant wait to buy a house.

cant wait to host a banquet to which all of my enemies are invited, and announce that one of them - the very worst of them all - drank from a poisoned goblet.

it seems that you can't poison your very worst enemy at an elaborate banquet these days. it seems that your very worst enemy can just call poison control whenever they want to receive advice from the foremost toxicity experts of the country at a moment's notice.

but seeming is not believing....

once i have purchased and signed for a house, then we shall see....

one time i was on a plane, in the back row seat - i was probably a teenager, 14 or 15 - and across the aisle, this guy - older, probably in his 50s, appeared to be editing a stack of papers by hand, with a pen. and it was maybe 11pm at night, and i was staring at him the whole time, because i was curious about what the papers said.

the one and only time i managed to get his attention, i gestured for him to give me the papers, but he didnt bite.

as i remember it, he was very confused and annoyed.

his loss, frankly. i woulda made a great pre-graduate assistant.

the coolest part of this homebuying process is every email we get that essentially boils down to "hey guys, so excited to help you buy this house. by the way, just a bit of paperwork for you, and if you dont thread the needle perfectly on this one in the next 6 hours the deal might fall through. cheers! cant wait to congratulate you on closing day!"

no fuckin wonder real human beings dont buy houses anymore, and its all corporations.

today, i used all my muscles to accomplish goals and perform tasks.