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#lilah reads the odyssey


is absolutely when Odysseus, disguised as a beggar, finally decides to reveal himself and kill all the suitors ruining his house. Because he absolutely just stands in front of a room full of guys, takes off all his clothes and gets 100% naked, and shoots a guy in the throat with an arrow. Then he fights and kills said room full of guys very violently and remains naked the whole time. Like at some point he puts on a helmet and straps a shield to his back and starts dual wielding spears but the rest of him is totally unclothed.

Also in the Emily Wilson translation he yells “Playtime is over” when he gets naked



So then a stranger approached Telemachus’ ship. Now this guy, so, a while ago there was this guy and the furies made him obsessed with a lady right? And he got tortured by her brother. Well then he killed the brother and married her. Then he had two sons. And the second son had a son, who then had a son who was a famous warlord. And then that warlord son died because his wife betrayed him. But he had two sons of his own. Okay anyways going back to the first son. He had two sons and the first was too hot so the gods kidnapped him. But the second, so after the first guy’s second son’s warlord great-grandson died, this son became a prophet but got mad and left to live somewhere else. Anyway this guy was his son



[Film opens. Establishing shot of an island. Mournful music plays. We pan into a cave. A man emerges from the bed of a beautiful goddess. He clothes himself, walks out onto the beach, sits upon the sand and begins to weep.]

[Needle drop. Freeze frame.]

Voiceover: So that's me. Odysseus the Cunning, son of Laertes, hero of Troy. You're probably wondering how I found myself in this situation



MobileSuitLilah
@MobileSuitLilah

I mean he already takes the crown for the fact that his daily routine for seven years was “have sex with hot immortal goddess then go cry on the beach for the entire rest of the day because he misses his wife”. But also even after that he cries all the time. Like someone mentions Troy in his vicinity? Immediate tears. Good job my guy. Feel your feelings


MobileSuitLilah
@MobileSuitLilah

Odysseus was melting into tears; / his cheeks were wet with weeping, as a woman / weeps, as she falls to wrap her arms around / her husband, fallen fighting for his home / and children. She is watching as he gasps / and dies. She shrieks, a clear high wail, collapsing / upon his corpse. The men are right behind. / They hit her shoulders with their spears and lead her / to slavery, hard labor, and a life / of pain. Her face is marked with her despair. / In that same desperate way, Odysseus / was crying.

Literally somebody just told the story of the Trojan horse in front of him