There is no surgery or prosthesis that would permanently rid me of my disability. It would require such extensive modification or replacement of the neurological and musculoskeletal structure of my torso that it just cannot be done. Even in a sci-fi setting with cybernetics all over the place, I can’t see it being feasible.

But in such a sci-fi setting, there would be other options for me.

I want to upload my consciousness into a robot body, or at the VERY least plug my still-living brain into one. If we’re already considering replacing my whole goddamn torso with a cybernetic version that doesn’t suck, why not throw out the rest of my meat along with it? My torso’s not the only part of my body that’s busted. My arms, neck, and feet could use replacing, too. At that point just stick me in a machine and call it a day. Chrome doesn’t feel pain.

My chronic pain isn’t the only problem being a robot would solve, either. A robot wouldn’t need to eat, or exercise, or take an exhausting number of pills every day just to function. A robot wouldn’t ever have to set foot in a bathroom. Sure, a robot body would require mechanical maintenance, but that’d be a lot less frequent than, say, needing to brush one’s teeth.

And a robot body could look however I want it to look. Goodbye, gender dysphoria! It wouldn’t necessarily even have to look human if I didn’t want it to, so long as it was still human-shaped enough to function in human-designed spaces. I could do away almost entirely with the design constraints of the human species if I wanted to, if only I could have a robot body.

I know there would be other problems with putting my mind into a machine. The robot body didn’t pop into existence in a vacuum, for one thing. But this is a pipe dream anyway—it’ll certainly never become possible within my lifetime—so can’t I just have a little wishful thinking about not being in pain every day without worrying about capitalism ruining my fantasy?