So I was scrolling through youtube one day and clicked on a video titled something like "watch this to turn into a girl" and I clicked it without hesitation; Like actually 0 hesitation.

From there, I started to evaluate my gender. I think I put it off for a long time. Previously, I decided I was just a femboy and that was that (for like 10+ years), and I didn't think I wanted anything more. I've been crossdressing in public for the last year and haven't been happier.

Looking further back, I noticed MANY many signs pointing to the fact that I am in fact trans.

I was 4 years old when I started crossdressing in private, and thought about how I'd love to be a pretty princess or dress up like cardcaptor sakura. I hated my name and thought I'd change it one day (I never even showed my name in any of my profiles because I didn't feel connected to it). Always played as female characters too (except in souls games, I need the funny male moaning sfx). On top of that, I always wanted to grow my hair out but was denied by my parents.

I want to be more feminine, the most feminine and pretty version of myself I can be. I'm scared of losing my hair, I want to pass, and I want to look good in female clothes well into my later years. Situations where I've been forced to boymode made me feel terrible. I want to be a woman with all my heart.

As for the difference in being a femboy and being trans, I think to me it's that my male features make me feel strong gender dysphoria. Part of why I never decided I was trans was that I felt "it's too late for me" but I realize now that that mindset is toxic. I need to become the woman I've always wanted to be.