Found these while going through wife's old things as we're going through boxes at their dad's place.

That's why we here at Cinemagic are proud to announce our brand new 256:9 aspect ratio, with unparalleled drama and fidelity

At Crystalline Industries, we're always looking for ways to expand the film industry beyond what could be thought possible. That's why, after years of hard work and scientific research, we've successfully concocted the ∞:1 aspect ratio - now, filmmakers can create beyond boundaries of the past!

Note: Crystalline Industries does not take responsibility for any universes and/or timelines shattered via usage of this aspect ratio.

you ever think how we're blowing the national helium reserve to fly blimps that are just big advertisements around

i will tell you politely three times that i don't like a thing and then i will tell you

fuck OFF with that SHITE

that doesn't seem unreasonable to me