Remember, Rookie: a vamp is at its deadliest just after exsanguination. It can hit you like a truck if you engage. You can tell from afar because the mist in its eyes will have cleared. That's when you know you better run rather than fight because it just filled up on blood. Clear eyes? Full heart? It can't lose.

Cohost shitposts really are top-tier. the special reserve of shitposts.

*Shuffles her papers on her anchor desk, before turning to face the camera with a serious expression, wearing a newscaster blazer with big 80s shoulder pads*

"Breaking news update this morning, as it turns out - in an ongoing story - that I'm a ✨genie✨."

"Further updates will be conveyed as events warrant. Thank you."

*Gets up to leave the desk, revealing her gauzy pantaloons that have been just out of shot*