- I am a genius
- I can differentiate any function in my head
- Liquid nitrogen is incapable of harming me
- I love women more than anyone within 3 miles of me
- I can eat cigarettes to replenish my stamina
- MatPat was right about every theory he ever made
- I am capable of performing photosynthesis whenever I wish
- I have better music taste than everyone, except the musicians I listen to
- I can lick road signs with no consequences
- I will eat icicles for breakfast in a manner similar to how I consume carrots
- penis
#shitchosting
also: #shitpost, #shitposting, #shitchost, #shitposts
Me, enlightened: my boywife is so poggers!
You, foolish: none of these words are in the Bible
Matthew 28:5-6: "The angel said to the women, 'Do not be afraid, for I know that you are looking for Jesus, who was crucified. He is not here; he has risen, just as he said. Come and see the place where he lay.'”
take that atheists
Me, enlightened: my boywife is so poggers!
You, foolish: none of these words are in the Bible
oh i need to get this thing done i'll just do it????? fuck off. impossible. that's something tony robbins says to sell you books. 'just complete the task with the means available to you' why don't i take a fucken shit on jupiter okay