My lord, my beloved, I must apprise thee that the common wretches and thine advisers most treacherous both mock thine apparel in secret. They slander thee most foul, saying that thy raiment hath no drip, and that thine elegant garb is but rags.

I have designed a stategem, your honor, that these foolish hecklers may be put to shame. Take this splendid garment, whose threads are so fine that the coarse, common eye cannot behold them, and whose weight on the skin is less than even a feather. Then shalt thou hold a parade in thine honor, to prove to the people that thy kingly fashion is above all reproach of the vulgar.

If thou wilt, I will see to making preparations this very moment, my lord.