- i get into ttrpg for a while, before remembering that every subcommunity eventually becomes vindictive, degendering, depersoning, &cet if you have idiosyncratic beliefs about the nature of games according to losers who depend on twitter discourse for their income
- then i get into poetry for a while, because it actually lives up to the ideal of a pluralistic art community! ...before remembering that the structure of journals rewards not sharing your work, and it's rough to not know whether your poem not clicking is a skill issue or an epistemic mismatch
- ok, this "other people" bit is a problem. what about math? well that's great for about 10 hours of putnam-style recreation, before i wade into the waters of "real math" and start to feel the loneliness of transtemporal parallel playing with 16th-century italians (i dont yet have the chops to parallel play with the 19th-century ones)
- ok maybe i just need a better subset of other people. what about like, getting really into my own transness? i mean i do see this one coming, i'm dipping the second someone calls me a TMA/E or even just some mild twitter edgelord shit, but cmon. i gotta have hope
- ok what about prose writing? ...no, for me it's best to just write without trying to make a community out of it, the industry is broken and the way i approach writing makes me feel bad at most workshops
- ok what about like, games studies / games writing? those are good folks if you avoid the gamergaters, but honestly video games are rough, and also expensive, and im really only interested in a particular subset of them.
- ...but you know what's similar to that that i am interested in?
- ttrpg. i should get back into th