“Me and Cameron just hit a new milestone: buying a new toaster 🎉

The toaster we currently have is the one he got as a hand-me-down from some friend of his parents when we first went to college. In 2008.

After buying the new one, I googled our current one, a Windmere, and discovered that the one we use is very likely from no more recent than 2000 as Windmere stopped being Windmere in 2000.

It was a hand-me-down in 2008. Two of the four slots haven’t worked since at least 2008 (it came with a sharpie squiggle on the non-functioning burner). I’ve looked all over and cannot find any record of the exact toaster we have. I searched the brand’s name, the toaster’s model number, by a photo of the toaster itself, and went through as many lists of Windmere Toaster manuals I could find.

No. Exact. Matches.

eBay seems to be the only place you can buy any Windmere products anymore and half are marked as “vintage.”

That’s all to say that sometimes it’s okay to spend $30 on yourself for no reason other than wanting to ditch the vintage fire hazard sitting on your counter.“

Over the years, I've played a lot of weirdly entertaining multiplayer takes on various sports, including soccer. But never with, well, toast. The premise of Toasterball is so simple, albeit deceptively so, too: two toasters, two goals, one ball, and lots of shenanigans. A recipe for chaotic fun.

how to play: when a toaster is nearly finished toasting something, hover your hand, palm down, a few inches over the business end. (careful, the air can get pretty hot! do what's comfortable. note: animated wax figurines should def. sit this one out.)

now, steel your nerves. you have one goal: don't flinch when the toaster suddenly ejects its payload. can you do it?

your score is 0 plus the number of units you moved your hand away from the suddenly accelerated carbs. lower is better.