"no don't take testosterone you'll mess up your fertility and if you get pregant on testosterone it could mess the baby up and a bunch of other complications relating to pregnancy. also top surgery and bottom surgery are bad for those reasons too." ok but why do yo care more about my hypothetical, non-existent children than the very real, existent me??

man, conservatives really do care more about your unborn children than you, even when you're not pregnant and have absolutely no plans on ever having children. these "children" aren't even embryos and you're worrying about them more than me. they just don't exist at all. not even conceptually in a "i want to have children one day" kind of way.

also side note, but i hate it when people say "oh you might change your mind in the future". people only ever say that to people who don't want children, no-one ever says that to people who do want children. even though surely everyone is capable of changing their minds. anyway.

working through intermediate welsh: a grammar and workbook and it's a bit of a slog, bc the later chapters are what i actually need to revise but i wanted to start at the beginning bc it feels wrong to leave the first ones out.

some things i'm really looking forward to this month/next month are the new university year, starting back at my wind bands and orchestra, and starting chinese classes :)

i think maybe (at least part of) the reason i feel chronically isolated and lonely is bc a majority of people i know are cis and abled and i'm always pushed away by their weird microagressions and general lack of udnerstanding. even with people who say that they feel close to me, and i always say that they're my close friends too, but the reality is more that they're the friends who i'm closest too but there's still this insurmountable wall bc of them being cis and/or abled. but i can't say that to anyone bc they always take it personally!!

this isn't to be like "cis people and trans people / abled people and disabled people can never be true, real, close friends", but i just feel like a lot of cis and abled people just don't like to acknowledge that they are still capable of being ableist/transphobic to me even if they consider themself an ally or my friend. and that like... they still occupy a position in society where they're my oppressor, and that me being upset about their microagressions is not just me being upset "bc they were a bit mean" or whatever. it all feels so unfair. like on a societal level.

maybe i'm just "too sensitive" or whatever but this sort of stuff always makes me want to cut myself off from everyone.