original lyrics by @xinjinmeng
backing track by Sonia MacIntyre

🦡Lenestre.
Nobody on the net
Nobody on my wall
I feel it in the air
September's eternal
Empty takes, empty screens
Battery runs down alone
I'm punching in DMs
Though I know you're not at your phone

But I can see you
Your markdown in wine and cream
I see you posting shit and shots of all your screens
I can tell you, my love for you will still be strong
After the bugs of cohost are gone

🐲Rhiannon.
I never will forget those posts
I wonder if this was a fringe
Remember how your crimes amazed me
Remember how I made you cringe
Now I don't understand what happened to our site
But fam, I'm gonna get you back
I'm gonna show you how online I am

I can see you
Bespoke emoji in wine and cream
You're four levels deep, reposting some dank meme
I can tell you, my love for you will still be strong
After the bugs of cohost are gone

🍯Akhra.
Out in the world today
I saw a Love Honk sticker on a Lenovo
A little voice inside my head said
"Let it go, you've got to learn to let go"
I thought I know what love was
a f a i k
Those chosts are gone forever
I should just let them get away, but

I can see you
Earnestness in wine and cream
You've got your filters down and confessing all your dreams
I can tell you my love for you will still be strong
After the bugs of cohost have gone

🦡🐲🍯 chorus.
I can hear you
That Feel When wine and cream
all in lower case but i know you want to scream
I can tell you my love for you will still be strong
After the bugs of cohost have gone

...and maybe I want those pronouns I gave it.

🦡 ...eh. they often turn out grammatically ambiguous and don't actually feel better. reverting for now, the hunt will go on.

🦡
I share the conversations, sometimes I drop a side comment, but I'm as white as they come and it's not my lane to lead that topic. but from racialized people I see constant frustration, resignation, just plain giving up on this venue and broader communities that overlap it. last share, about the inherent stifling whiteness of "trans culture" and how that whiteness gets enforced the same way it always is, was a common topic well before cohost.

lately I'm worried that boosting is not enough, because the way shit's going there may be nobody around to boost. maybe I should veer out of my lane just a bit sometimes, when there's no traffic to block. and hell, maybe I'm more qualified than I give myself credit for... I came into all this from a weird direction. becoming close enough friends with a Black man that my trust and belief that he was entirely on the level outweighed the inertia of my racist upbringing when he opened up fully about his experiences (which took until my late 30s, mind) was the thing that convinced me to revisit other baseline 80s/90s indoctrination.

committing to antiracism is what allowed me to also start deconstructing the walls I'd built against transness. it came first, it's fundamental and inseparable. not to say it's smooth and seamless and I get it right all the time, this right here has a scent of white guilt ablation to it. but while I don't see everything, I do listen and look and right from the start I've seen the bias in "trans culture," and the explosive responses when it's pointed out. (being just a little too old for a lot of millennial touchstones probably helped: a fair chunk of that bias has excluded me too.)

so I think right here, in this intersection, I'm gonna try to be louder.