On the one hand, even a week on, it's still a relief to be outside of hospitals after being stuck in them for a solid four months above and below the waves. On the other hand...
"Down!" Charlotte has just enough time to close her mouth before Pitzerel magics her into the seabed, phasing through sand and fish alike to hide out of sight. She's been on the run from royal authorities ever since Tykithy and his anti-monarchist comrades broke her out of her medical prison. It's finally sinking in just how far the merfolk capital is from shore; Kekketi, the party's navigator, says they're still probably four days out. It would have been less under normal conditions, but it turns out webbed feet and toes aren't the same as a proper mermaid tail. Suffice to say, Charlotte's legs and abs will never stop aching at this rate.
The familiar sound of a search party rushes over the ocean floor, magical engines dragging police officers in their wake far faster than anyone could hope to swim. Charlotte can hear sand shift around her as the currents spread and dissipate. After a few moments, Kekketi's voice calls out, "Clear!" Everyone resurfaces, and they move on.
A couple hours later, it's finally time to camp. Pitzerel sets up the camouflaging enclosure, Tykithy starts preparing the night's meal, and Kekketi... well, it's her turn. "You ready?" she asks, still trying to think of Charlotte's feelings in this mess.
"As I can be," Charlotte replies. She hasn't gotten used to the routine yet, but she certainly has lost any semblance of excitement for swapping spit. Something about waiting for a mermaid to work up a mouthful of saliva, getting the go-ahead, and then having to practically suck the liquid out of her mouth loses its luster really fast. It tastes the way lube feels – slick and flavorless at first, but with an astringent aftertaste that sticks for a while afterwards. Not for the first time, Charlotte wonders how the hospital processed Princess Xiphiria's spit to make it that unobjectionable film-wrapped bubble.
Kekketi, for her part, is a little flushed in the aftermath but has gotten better about managing her fluster. Charlotte suspects the mermaid has a crush – and if circumstances were different, maybe she'd take that somewhere, but not when she's been stuck underwater for literal months. Instead, she just murmurs her thanks and settles next to Tykithy, trying not to feel too sick at the prospect of more boiled fish. Eventually the other two merfolk take their places under the protective canopy, and everyone tucks in.
Halfway through the meal, a distant voice carries through the water.
"Sharrrrleeeeeee!"
"You've got to be fucking kidding me..." the human groans, flopping back as Pitzerel squints into the distance.
"They're doing a hard sweep," she reports, bitter. "Dispellers, scent-sharks, the whole nine yards. Seems we've hit the end of the line."
Tykithy thumps his tail against the sand, sending up a puff of debris. "Gods dammit, I'm not gonna act like we were close, but I really thought we could make it."
"You'd think she'd take a fucking hint after I told her to stop visiting me a week into treatment." Charlotte awkwardly twists to look at the approaching search party. Princess Xiphiria is steadily resolving out of the murk, some kind of magic voice amplifier in hand.
"Sharlee! Sharlee! We're coming for you Sharlee, don't worry! Please Sharlee, help us find your kidnappers! We promise they'll receive a fair trial! Sharlee!"
"That's not even how you shorten 'Charlotte' you friggin'..." She lets her grumbles turn to sighs, then looks to her fellow fugitives. "Y'all don't deserve to get caught up in this mess. I should prolly just go out there and... I dunno, give her a piece of my mind while I get dragged back in, I guess."
Kekketi scoffs. "You think she'll listen?"
"Eh, one can hope, right?"
"Hang on, let's not resign ourselves to failure yet." Pitzerel places a hand on her shoulder. "I know a spell that can project an image of you out into the open. If we're going to try words, maybe we can do it in a way that doesn't expose you to a snatch-and-grab?"
Charlotte can only shrug. "Worth a shot."
With a nod, the group's witch starts rummaging in her pack. "Chew this," she says, handing the human a knot of roots. She then pulls out a rod and starts tracing out a circular symbol in the middle of the enclosure. "Make sure you swallow, then swim over here. I'll start casting once you're ready."
The roots are bitter and coat Charlotte's tongue, but surprisingly delicate; they're hardly the worst thing she's had to swallow during her undersea adventure. With a deep breath to steady her nerves, she awkwardly paddles into the circle and nods. "Ready."
Her vision briefly doubles, Pitzerel's chanting form overlaying with the expanse of ocean ahead of the search party, then resolves. Some part of her knows she hasn't gone anywhere, that she's still safely under the protective canopy and surrounded by people with much better reasons to hate the Princess, but the rest of her is wondering if she just got teleported into the open ocean. While she's getting her bearings, Xiphiria has spotted her, and is urging the search party forward.
"Sharleeeeeeeeee!"
"Princess Xiphiria." She holds up a hand as the mermaid approaches, stopping her at a moderate distance.
"I told you, you can call me Ziphy," the Princess pouts.
"Princess Xiphiria." The human just folds her arms, keeping her voice hard and even. "Was keeping me in that hospital for three months not enough for you?"
"We just needed to make sure you were healthy—"
"And I'm sure the fact that I refused to entertain you or show any interest in becoming your Human Girlfriend had nothing to do with it." She sighs, trying to ease the tension building in her shoulders. "Look, you're trying to find me, right? Congratulations, you did it. I'm healthy, I'm unharmed, I'm where I want to be, so just... shoo. Go back to the capital and stop hounding me."
Xiphiria pauses, face screwed up in concentration. "She must have some mind-altering magics cast on her. Officers, net her! We can sort it out when she's back under our protection."
In an instant a trio of nets are flying at Charlotte's face. She brings her arms up to defend herself, and then... is completely fine, because the nets phased right through her. Because she's not actually there. Right.
She knows just how to make use of this spike of fear.
"Okay, see this? This right here, Princess? This is what I'm talking about. You just heard me say, clear as I could make it, 'I want you to fuck off and leave me alone,' and you assumed that I must not be in my right mind. Have you ever considered that maybe—maybe!—I actually don't want to see you? That when I said 'please don't visit me again' in the hospital, it wasn't for whatever nonsense reason you concocted, but because I earnestly just didn't want to see your face? You gave me an STI! We had a one-night stand and you couldn't stop talking about how much you wanted to take me home and have five kids and whatever the fuck else. Your idea of dirty talk is going 'ooh, what nice legs you have, what cute ears, it's so cool how you can walk on dry land.' Just... stop it!"
She suddenly feels a hand on her chest, pushing her backwards – she hadn't even realized she was moving. Pitzerel's voice is in her ear. "You gotta stay in the circle." She nods, and swipes her hair back down as she takes a few deep breaths. Thankfully, her rant seems to have stalled the search party from reloading their net guns or continuing their fine-grained sweep to find where she's hiding.
"I just..." The Princess is cowed, some, but clearly still trying to maintain some kind of righteous dignity. "I was worried about you. I love you! And it would be a great boon to both our nations if we were to be wed."
"Have you considered that I don't care? I swear, we merge worlds with you merfolk and instead of getting world peace or an anticapitalist revolution we just get new kinds of chasers." Charlotte takes another deep breath, steeling herself to stare down mermaid royalty directly. "What I want is to go home."
"We could—"
"My home. On dry land, where I don't have to keep swallowing your spit to keep from drowning. I want to find out if I still have a job."
"You—"
"I want to find out if I still have a job, because I liked working at that pottery shop. I have my own dreams and goals. Once upon a time they could've involved someone like you, but frankly, you have put me off ever dreaming of mermaid royalty ever again. So please, kindly, leave me alone and let me go home."
One of the search party members—a merman wearing some fancy necklaces—gently pulls Xiphiria aside for some quiet words. She doesn't look happy about what's being said, but neither does it seem like she's about to fight back. Finally, she swims back forward. "We will— Do I really have to say that?" she whines to the merman. He nods, and she huffs before turning back to Charlotte. "On the advice of our counsel, we will withdraw to the capital. We will arrange for a diplomatic task force to meet you in Pickery Cove to assist in returning you to human lands. Finally, we..." Her clenched teeth are apparent, even at a distance. "... will not prosecute anyone who has aided you so far, nor anyone who will aid you in the process of returning to your home country." With that, she twirls and swims back the way she came, search party in tow.
"Thank fucking goodness..." Charlotte mutters as her vision returns to the interior of the camouflaged enclosure.
"We're getting you outta here, then?" Tykithy asks, eyes darting to the rest of the party for confirmation.
"Yep, you're getting me outta here, and you don't even have to smuggle me to a beach." She pauses, then swims up to each of them one by one for a hug. "Thank fucking goodness, y'all're getting me outta here."
She is so ready to sleep in a normal, dry bed for once.
(Kekketi: "So, uh, I know you won't be dreaming of mermaid royalty, but..."
Charlotte: "Kekketi, let me get back to living my life again before you finish that question, okay?"
Kekketi: "Sorry.")
