Today's Tune: Re-Undulate by Kankitsu
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I'm not quite done here, there's still one last, not-specific-to-Cohost post I want to make before it goes read-only if I can swing it as my actual, absolute last post, but this is the weekend of everyone saying their goodbyes, and I suppose it's time to say mine, too, in a sense.
I've been trying to sum up the words, but I think I can shorten my thoughts down to Cohost giving me a place to belong. I got to meet people I'd never meet otherwise, cross paths with people and artists who, seeing them elsewhere, felt like giants. Cohost made me recognize - forced me to recognize - that I'm not among giants. I'm just among other people.
It's been a strange year in an age where every year has some new catastrophic event tied to it destined to show up in history books. It's been a year where a lot of aspects of my personal life shattered, a year where I'm still trying to put the pieces back together. There's a laundry list of things I had planned that got pushed to the wayside. I wanted to reboot Terraform properly, start on Zero XP Hero, put together an art book, finish my website... the list is never-ending.
If I have any regrets, it's that I didn't work on the things I wanted to a bit more, show off characters and ideas that I think people here would really like, but we don't get to write our own scripts. It's all improv, and we do what we can with each passing day.
For a little while, Cohost gave me a place to put down my pack as a digital nomad and feel a sense of belonging. It got me to start reaching out again, to be a little less guarded. I'll always be thankful for that. Cohost shutting down has given me a strange sense of drive for what I want to do next, motivated by loss and hope. The ending to one story is the beginning of another, and I'm glad I got to play a small part in this story before it ended.
Thank you. From the bottom of my heart.
I'll see you next.