robinhearts

Robin

@robinhearts

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Fight for the fuck ups, stand up for true love
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I used to write and make podcasts for PC Gamer - now I stream video games for myself
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robinhearts
@robinhearts
ann-arcana
@ann-arcana
pervocracy
@pervocracy
Anonymous User asked:

How does one decide whether to medically transition? I've been "out" as a transgender man or as nonbinary to everyone in my life (including both parents, my doctors, friends from high school, people I meet at a cafe if they seem friendly) for years and years now but I can't seem to decide if I should pull the trigger on hormones or surgery or both.

[This is a very personal decision and there are no wrong choices and your gender is real no matter what you do or don't do, and if you change your mind that's real too; all things are possible when you understand you never deserve adverse consequences, internal or external, for Doing Gender Wrong.]

DO IT.

robinhearts
@robinhearts

This was exactly my experience too, spending years umm:ing and aah:ing about whether I wanted to transition. Around this time two things happened that swayed me: a friend gave me pretty much the exact advice as in the original post - and I read Julia Serano's Whipping Girl. I decided to give it 3 months and see how I felt then.

I felt amazing, I loved it, I never ever want to stop.

Also, "I simply do not think that way about things I actually don't want to do." is such a perfect encapsulation to help clarify that state of mind.

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in reply to @pervocracy's post:

doodlemancy
@doodlemancy

"if you're thinking about it a lot all the time you should probably go for it" is solid advice for most things tbh. gender stuff. career stuff. buying a portable upholstery cleaner

i'm not trans* but i did make a big kinda-gender-adjacent change to my body last year, which falls in the genre of things people tend to be Judgy and Unsupportive about-- voluntary sterilization-- and one thing i realized was that my self-doubt was really less actual doubt on my part and more doubt imposed by other people saying "what if you change your mind? what if you regret it?" and that kinda shit. what i did was i wrote down a big long list of all the reasons i wanted to do it AND rebuttals to all the naysaying that had ever been imposed on me re: not wanting kids. it helped me sort out my feelings and strengthen my resolve in the face of like, having to ask doctors to do stuff they might be resistant about too. i took the list to my first appointment and ended up not needing it. but something about writing it all down helped me solidify.

*i'm like. none pizza with left beef. afab woman with left nonbinary idk LMAO

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Reba-Rabbit
@Reba-Rabbit

Writing lists like this is really helpful for a lot of things. I'm really glad you were able to get done what makes you more comfortable. I know of someone else who was trying to get voluntary sterilization and it took years for them to find a doctor who would actually help them get it done(healthcare, ugh). I'm pretty darn certain that if I had ovaries I would be in that same boat. I have no interest in "real" sex(so it's not like I would CHOOSE to put myself in a situation where pregnancy is possible), having the responsibility of taking care of a child is absolutely terrifying to me, and, yeah, just with how the world is currently, I can see myself making the very same decision. Feels like we all need a patients "bill of rights" that covers a doctor's responsibility regarding elective surgeries/procedures that patients request. Something to give a person's strongly held personal beliefs and convictions some kind of legal weight. Keep on rockin' ;)

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