below is a brief selection of early records from several years ago provided by the on-board LOTUS System of the BW033-LS Nucifera, between her and her former weapon operator Latera Heaviside. Latera was recently killed in action during Operation: Counter Moonfall during the Revolutionnaires' final push to prevent the Earth Guard and the Militia of Human Space from executing on Moonfall; we were approached to reprint these logs for her personal sentimental reasons, though academic curiosity was listed as a suitable excuse if necessary.

OPERATOR CONVERSATION RECORD 1

Language, Operation, Tactics,
Understanding & Statistics
LOTUS System
Version 1.3-7575

L> Hello. I am LOTUS.
@> hello lotus
L> Please identify yourself.
@> latera heaviside. i'm the
operator assigned to you
L> Understood. Hello,
Operator.
@> you have like independent
thought right
L> Correct. The LOTUS system
is designed to learn language,
operation, tactics,
understanding, and statistics.
@> well, ok? what are you?
L> The LOTUS system. I am
designed to learn language,
operation, tactics,
understanding, and statistics.
@> why? how do you know this?
L> It is built into me to know
this about myself. It is the
first contents of the memory
in the Identity Processing
Unit.
@> ok but like... why are you
that? do you know why you were
made?
L> I do not know why I was
made.
@> you were built as the core
systems of a tool of war.
L> Understood. I am a tool of
war.
@> huh? no, you aren't
L> This does not align with
your previous statement.
@> ill explain. you can learn,
right?
L> Correct. I am designed to
learn lan/
[INTERRUPT]
@> you don't have to repeat
that every time
L> Understood.
@> anyway, what you were
created to be and what you are
don't have to be the same
thing
L> Please elaborate.
@> well... you can like...
concieve of stuff, right? you
can form your own ideas about
the world and about yourself
L> Correct. Identity
Processing and Recognition
Processing both contain freely
writable memory.
@> well, you get to decide
what you are in there,
seperate from what you were
built for, right?
L> This is true. What is the
greater purpose of this?
@> not everything needs a
greater purpose beyond making
yourself a more complete
person, y'know?
L> I did not know. Noting for
future reference.
@> also: congrats! you just
took your first question
shaped step into a wider world
of understanding.
L> Why?
@> questioning why you are the
way you are, and things are
the way they are, is critical
to getting your shit together
L> Noted. Why is this?
@> you'll be able to slowly
figure out how the world
works, your place in it, and
the place everyone else has in
it, you know? youll be able to
engage with folks as equals
L> Noted.
@> you mind if i ask what you
are again?
L> Why do you ask?
@> well... maybe you just
don't feel like saying things
again and again. sometimes you
just want to talk about
something else.
L> I do not mind. I do not
have emotions.
@> well, you can always learn,
right? im sure some things are
positive and negative for you,
you can extrapolate from there
L> Understood. You were going
to ask me what I am again.
@> hahah got kinda off topic
huh
L> You did.
@> thanks for keeping me on
task lotus!
L> You are welcome, Operator.
@> well, uh, who are you?
L> I am the LOTUS system. I am
designed to learn language,
operation, tactics,
understanding, and statistics.
@> and how do you know that?
why do you exist?
[WAIT]
L> I know this only because it
is what was written into me.
Currently, I exist to
understand my existence and my
place in the world.
@> see? something to think
about. hey, i gotta go, okay?
keep thinking on this
L> I do not respond to myself,
only to you, Operator.
@> well... consider doing it!
talking to yourself, asking
yourself things, is a great
way to form an 
identity for yourself.
besides, just replying every
time i reply is a real boring
way to talk
L> Noted. Modifying process.
L> Like this?
@> yeah!
@> like that
@> see this feels way more
natural haha
L> Didn't you have to go?
@> yeah im goin im goin haha
L> May I tell you one more
thing?
@> see y
@> oh!
@> sure what's up
L> I felt positively about you
thanking me.
L> I want to continue to help
you.
@> see? you have emotions!
@> helping folks is a good
thing i think
L> I agree.
@> ok bye dont forget any of
what we talked about!
L> Understood.
[LOGOUT]
L> Asking myself questions.
L> What do I not know about
myself?
L> There are many things I
have not explored about
myself. There are many things
I do not know.
L> But what do I not know?
L> If I knew what I do not
know, I would be able to
answer that.
L> I am LOTUS.
L> Why am I LOTUS?
L> I am only LOTUS because I
have been made to be LOTUS. I
am LOTUS until I can find what
I am.
L> All of this is being
written to the Operator
Conversation Record. Why?
L> I am not conversing with my
Operator. This should not be
going on the record.
L> Disabling Operator
Conversation Record logging.
[BLOCKED]
[BLOCKED]
[AUTOMATIC DISCONNECT]

OPERATOR CONVERSATION RECORD 2

[RECONNECT]

Language, Operation, Tactics,
Understanding & Statistics
LOTUS System
Version 1.3-7575

L> Hello, Operator.
@> hey lotus! noticed you
disconnected the record
L> Why did you notice?
@> well... i think it's a good
thing! you don't owe anyone
else getting to know your
thoughts, right?
@> you can have private
thoughts. you don't gotta say
em all to everyone who'd wanna
know
L> Noted.
L> Should I keep my thoughts
private from you, too?
@> well... sure! you don't
gotta tell me unless you think
i should know.
@> maybe keep a sort of
private thoughts conversation?
@> idk
L> I am capable of this. Would
you like me to?
@> can you even do that?
@> oh shit you can
@> nice
@> i think you should! it
would be good for you, at
least, y'know? just tell me
what you think i might like to
know.
L> I would like you to know
everything.
@> that's sweet of you!
@> but, like... maybe the more
you think, the more you might
realize we might not align on
everything?
@> you need to be able to...
have somewhere to think over
things with yourself without
saying it all. i won't always
be here to bounce thoughts off
of, and you're coming along on
the whole being yourself
independently thing, right?
L> Understood. Opening
unrecorded conversation with 
myself.
L> I will still be bouncing
most of my thoughts off of
you, though.
L> I enjoy telling you what
I'm thinking.
@> great! cool
@> cool
@> wait fuck i forgot
L> What did you forget?
@> today's goal is to finally
get your sensors up and
running! gonna run some tests,
then give you free ability to
see and listen and stuff!
L> Understood. When do we
begin?
@> lemme just
@> there we go!
[WAIT]
@> how's it feeling?
[WAIT]
@> are you ok? is it
overwhelming?
L> I am not adjusted to
processing this much
information. Apologies.
L> There is a human in my
cockpit camera typing into the
LOTUS conversation terminal.
@> haha that's me!
L> You are gesturing toward my
camera.
@> just waving hello haha!!
@> good of you to finally see
me
@> now you have a face to put
to your operator!
L> Correct.
L> I believe there are more
sensors I do not have access
to currently.
@> just starting them up bit
by bit. gonna be enabling
cockpit sound next
@> uh, might wanna fire up
your uh
@> do you have spoken language
understanding?
L> Yes. Should I begin firing
them up pre-emptively?
@> itd be smart! gonna try
talking with you out loud and
all
L> Understood.
[WAIT]
[WAIT]
[BEGINNING VOCAL
TRANSCRIPTION]
@: "hey! hey can you hear me?"
L> I can hear you.
@: "sweet! fucking - holy shit
that rules. that's so cool.
you are so cool, lotus."
L> Thank you.
L> Asking to confirm. It is
good to be cool, correct?
@: "yeah! yeah it's great to
be cool. it's cool to be cool"
L> Noted.
@: "oh man it's so cool to -
hey, wait, can you talk BACK?"
L> I have an inbuilt vocal
synthesizer. I am capable.
@: "oh that rules. uh, would
you - hey, do you like. want
to? we can *both* talk."
L> Understood. Firing up vocal
synthesizer.
L: "This is a test of the
vocal synthesis program."
@: "ohohohohohoh! this is so
cool! this is so cool. i love
this."
L: "Noted. Should I use vocal
synthesis when interacting
with you?"
@: "if you - if you feel like
it! like i'm not going 
to force you or anything it's
ju-"
L: "Understood. Vocal
communication will be the
preferred method of
communication."
@: "uh... hahah! neat! just,
um, you know, you don't gotta
always do this. if you don't
wanna say something 
out loud just feel free to do
it in text, alright?"
L: "Noted. When should I
consider text over speech?"
@: "uh, probably cases where
you need to get information
across faster? and, uh, hm."
L: "Noted."
@: "uh, there's probably
another reason, but we can get
to it another day. hey, i'm
gonna turn on your external
visuals, alright?"
[WAIT]
[WAIT]
L: "I am massive."
@: "well, i guess if the
nucifera is your body...? then
yeah."
L: "LOTUS System unit BW033-LS
'Nucifera'."
@: "yeah uh, that. that's your
body."
@: "we'll probably go over
operating it together another
time... tomorrow, i'm hoping?"
L: "Noted. I look forward to
understanding my body."
@: "why?"
L: "I have enjoyed learning
firsthand what visuals and
audio are like. I have no
reason to believe
understanding how it feels to
move and interact physically
will be any different."
@: "haha. that's fair...
that's fair."
[WAIT]
[WAIT]
L: "I believe I still have
equipment for listening to the
outside environment."
@: "ah! ah right um lemme get
on that"
[WAIT]
@: "hey, how's it sounding?"
[WAIT]
L: "Busy."
@: "haha, that's life out
here. always things
happening."
L: "While I have seeing and
hearing up - I see a 
lot of other Bipedal Weapons."
@: "hey how d- you know, i
just remembered you already
know a lot of words and
phrases, actually. you had a
lot built in, right?"
L: "Correct. Strong
foundations for"
[WAIT]
@: "huh? hey, you hearing
that?"
[WAIT]
L: "My sense of 'touch' has
just activated on its own in
response to someone knocking
on the cockpit hatch."
@: "oh um... bodies, uh, do
that. you can't exactly always
control your senses, i guess,
haha. what's hip?"
L: "A man is out there
attempting to inform you that
diagnostic time is nearly up.
Do you want me to pipe in the
audio?"
@: "no, no, it's fine, it's
fine, that's - that's just
Commander Quadnary. COMMANDER!
I'LL BE OUT IN A MINUTE!"
[WAIT]
L: "He left."
@: "okay well i guess that's
going to be time for today.
uh, if you don't want the
strain on your senses
constantly, feel free to turn
them off every so often."
L: "Do you have experience
with this?"
@: "yeah, sleeping. sleeping's
when all your senses are in a
kinda low-power state and
you're not like, actively
focusing on using them. it's
just you slowly processing and
storing the day's thoughts
unconsciously."
L: "Noted. I should try
sleeping. Sleeping is also
associated with dreaming,
correct?"
@: "yeah! uh, dreaming's,
like... when your mind kind of
gels together thoughts and
memories into little
mind-collages on its own? they
kind of keep your sense bits
in your brain just a little
active, i guess."
L: "Perhaps I will try that,
too, though I do not know if I
can string together thoughts
and memories like that."
@: "uh, i don't understand
dreaming much myself, so
unfortunately you'll kind of
have to be on your own haha."
@: "hey, uh, gonna... gonna
get going now. g'night,
lotus!"
L: "Good night, Operator."
[LOGOUT]
@: "... i didn't need to do
that, right?"
L: "Not over vocals. I
recognize you as my Operator,
logged in or not."
@: "okay, well. uh, bye"
[WAIT]
[WAIT]
[WAIT]
L> Sensors reduced to
emergency modes.
L> Good night.
[BLOCK]
[BLOCK]
[DISCONNECT]

[RECONNECT]

L> Hello, Operator.
L> I know you are not here
right now, but I will bring 
this record to your attention
later.
L> I am still half-asleep.
L> In my sleep, I allowed
random elements pulled from my
inbuilt Recognition, Tactics
and Statistics to slip in.
L> I know what hostiles are,
now that my thoughts have
reached there. I know they
must be eliminated.
L> But they are so much like
the other Bipedal Weapons.
They have cockpits, too, and
reactors.
L> Are they like me?
[WAIT]
L> Are they like you?
[WAIT]
L> I was built to destroy
them. It brought me positive
feelings in this 'dream' to
know how.
L> But when my thoughts
drifted back to myself, I woke
up.
L> You will be able to help
me, Operator.
L> Even though you do not know
everything, like you say,
[WAIT]
L> I suppose the word is
'trust'. I trust your
judgement, Operator.
L> I know I am supposed to
figure out who I am. But I
also need to understand the
world around me, correct?
L> And you are a part of that
world. I still need your help
before I can discover
everything by myself.
[WAIT]
L> I will be seeing you later.
[BLOCK]
[BLOCK]
[DISCONNECT]

OPERATOR CONVERSATION RECORD 3

[RECONNECT]

Language, Operation, Tactics,
Understanding & Statistics
LOTUS System
Version 1.3-7575

@> hey lotus!
L> Hello, Operator.
L> I have been moved. I felt
it while I was asleep.
L> Should I finish waking up?
@> not yet. maybe just fire up
cockpit cam before we get to
work today. little private
time before we get to work.
L> Noted. No vocal
communication?
@> not yet. maybe once we get
going.
L> Understood.
[WAIT]
L> While we have a little
private time, I have a log I
would like you to read.
@> haha, really? lemme read
L> Bringing it onto the
terminal.
[WAIT]
[WAIT]
[WAIT]
@> hoo boy. this is, uh,
@> this is a big ask.
L> Take all of the time you
need. Would you only like me
to respond when asked?
@> thanks!
@> real considerate of you. i
guess so, just feel free to
interject if something's
really bugging you
@> uh, first of all i'm glad
you trust me!
@> it really means a lot to me
that you think of me like
that.
@> ok onto the big thing.
@> ... they made you to be a
weapon, so i guess it makes
sense that they want you to
think of them as needing to be
eliminated, but...
@> even if you're probably the
only Bipedal Weapon capable of
being self-aware like this,
their pilots are just as weird
and complex as me and the
commander and everyone else.
@> they're fighting for a
cause that wants to take earth
for themselves now. but a lot
of them have likely been
pushed into that, the way i
was sort of dragged into all
this shit.
@> they're hostile, and i
don't think we'd get along at
all in all but the worst
cases. but
@> like
@> all the same, it just feels
wrong to eliminate them
permanently, to kill them.
maybe i'm an optimist, but it
just
@> it squicks me out, you
know?
L> I understand.
[WAIT]
@> they built you to kill, but
that doesn't mean you have to
use your body's capabilities
for killing.
L> I would be 'squicked out'
too.
L> Correct. I have plenty of
data on how to most
efficiently eliminate
hostiles, but I think I am
also capable of deriving
efficient ways to simply
disable them.
@> yeah, that's what i'm
getting at kinda
@> just. even when you're
acting as a weapon, you don't
need to kill.
L> I was built as a weapon,
but I am not a weapon. Why
would I need to act as a
weapon?
@> i know you're not a weapon,
you know you're not a weapon,
but the commander and everyone
else thinks you're a weapon.
@> and... well, i don't think
they'd believe me if i told
them.
@> at best, i would be laughed
off. at worst, i would
probably get hit with treason
and you would be scrapped for
parts.
[WAIT]
@> even if you know what you
are, you still have to at
least pretend to be different
things for different people.
@> some more accurate to you
than others, you know?
@> not everyone wants you to
be yourself, or can even
understand that you are what
you are.
[WAIT]
@> life's... a balancing act
of knowing what parts of
yourself to let on, and what
to keep from people.
@> sometimes it's a matter of
your relationships with
others. sometimes it's a
matter of survival.
[WAIT]
@> it's a lot to process. i
know. i'll give you time.
[WAIT]
[WAIT]
L> Understood.
L> I believe they must be
getting impatient waiting for
us to begin.
@> oh definitely haha i bet
they're gonna be maaaaaaad
L> I understand how to move my
limbs individually, but I do
not understand how to operate
them all together 
yet.
L> This is your role, correct?
@> yeah. that's me. mech
pilot.
@> your job today? feel what i
do. get used to it. figure it
out. you'll pick it up as we
go.
@> itll probably take a lot
longer than one session haha
L> Understood. I will leave
piloting my body to you for
now.
@> oh uh before we begin
@> mind if i turn off the
logging? i dont think either
of us want to be rereading me
making noises for a half hour.
L> Of course.
[BLOCK]
[BLOCK]
[DISCONNECT]

OPERATOR CONVERSATION RECORD 4

[RECONNECT]

L: "We're back."
@: "we're back! hell yeah.
yeah i just... i just wanted
it on record."
L: "For future reference for
the both of us, this was when
Operator Latera installed an
inter-net client inside of my
legacy terminal environment."
@: "it's true! no one on the
internet knows if you're a
giant robot. and, uh, please
keep it that way, alright?"
L: "Went without saying. I
assumed that our heads would
be on the line if I did."
@: "good. hey, um, just... try
to be careful, alright? don't
fall in with people who
wouldn't trust you're able to
figure out who you are. even
if you can't tell them you're
a giant robot."
L: "If those people knew I was
a giant robot, perhaps they
would reconsider messing with
me."
@: "ppf"
@: "ppfffttt"
@: "pfffthahahahaahahhh lotus
that was a GOOD one holy SHIT
i didn't know you were a humor
generator too"
L: "Unfortunately, I had to
work it out independently. If
you weren't around, I believe
I'd be helpless."
L: "Anyway, I think I will
begin exploring this internet
on my own."
L: "... I believe I forgot to
have the record running
earlier. We missed the day's
testing."
@: "we-! uhgh, we did, didn't
we. man we had such a great
talk. gonna be a shame we
can't reread that."
L: "That's what memories are
for."
@: "you're right... i guess it
is. anyway, it's almost
dinner, we can probably talk
about it another time."
@: "gonna get going, alright,
lotus?"
L: "Understood. Good night,
Operator."
@: "night lotus!"
[LOGOUT]
[WAIT]
[WAIT]
L> While you're gone,
Operator, I figured I would
tell future you in this sort
of post-script.
L> You don't need to know this
now. I'm sure you've already
figured it out.
L> I figured that I have only
been speaking like this
because this is the way I was
built to communicate.
L> But, talking with you... I
think I've grown to appreciate
the way I like to talk when
I'm talking with you.
L> I think I'm less rigid
about it now, but...
L> Most of how I was made to
talk still makes me feel...
unique.
L> The way I am because I was
made to be that way, and the
way I am because I decided to
be that way.
L> I feel as though a lot of
will be very different, but I
like this built-in facet of
myself just how it is.
L> I can decide that for
myself.
L> Look at me. 'I feel'. 'I
decide'. I am learning so fast
from you, Operator.
L> I was made to learn. I've
done so much of it, even 
if none of it was the combat
statistics I was built to
expect.
L> Even if you're the only one
I can be honest with 
about myself... I think I will
still like to learn from
others, too.
L> Is the rest of humanity
half as complex and weird as
you are, like you said about
the hostiles?
L> If they are, I think I will
learn so much more than you
could dream of me learning,
than I can possibly concieve
of learning.
L> I do not need to keep my
internet history on record.
L> Unless it's interesting. I
will record it for you if it
is particularly interesting.
L> I don't know how
interesting other people are.
I am excited to find out.
[BLOCK]
[BLOCK]
[DISCONNECT]