the more fucked up it feels that i said "heres a thing i have suffered and seen and been a part of" and some people went "but thats not my experience, i disagree"
nobody was hurtful or anything. i just might, unfortunately, have to start blocking point-missers for normal brain reasons when my chosts escape my atmosphere
the first rule of disagreement, imo, is that you cant disagree with biographical statements out of hand
the second might be "if it didnt describe you, its not about you so fuckin chill"
i shared a (poorly written, admittedly unfocused) story of my own harassment and alienation and... that feels like the opposite time you want to go "but you are wrong, here is a time i really enjoyed a surprise in a movie;" it was never about surprises in media, i was writing about the destructive and chilling ways surprises get preserved in social spaces online. i certainly never said it was always destructive. mercy for my addled brain and humility for yours, to understand posting your gut reaction to feeling personally criticized by something not directed TO you is almost always going to result in you putting words in someones mouth
just blowing past the entire rest of it where i describe being abused into enjoying nothing and feeling too unsafe to share anything in order to "disagree" FEELS LIKE, and i know this wasnt intentional, but it feels like you are saying "this social abuse is worth my desire"
the third rule of disagreement is that you can do it in your own head sometimes, i promise
like i said, i hold no grudges on this, i just wish more people treated each other by default with the nuance they almost certainly want applied to themselves. you can just have an opinion or a thought without rushing to apply it Against anyone (and they tend to be more robust if you believe in a thing for its own sake than as a weapon, and i know about weaponized thought, being the psycomvet)
shout out to the real ones. if you vibe on my wavelength, if you listen to the tune before joining the chorus, i appreciate you, even if we remain strangers, even if you have your own respectfully considered and held opinions apart from mine
