one time someone told me how much they admired my willingness to stand up for myself and tell people when they were wrong
i told them that people didnt like to be stood up to and that as a consequence i was alone and lonely
they would, within the year, fuck me out of housing on short notice because they got a job and didnt need my meager social security contribution to keep from having to take money from their wealthy parent anymore. i hope they understand why we dont talk anymore, and that they either do better or that it haunts them like it does me. i am not picky
shout out to the social worker who genuinely looked unsettled and maybe shifted perspective some after i told them that being disabled by chronic illness and getting complimented for my strength was like praising someone for being good at standing in the rain but not offering them shelter
and what is even the point of feeling angry about you, when i know exactly what you would say to me if it were someone else doing what you did, because you have before
thank you for the final lesson of the futility of trust.
