Interior, Dromad Merchant Emporium. Several chalkboards have been haphazardly arranged around the room. They read: "WELCOME TO THE EMPORIUM!!", "Hats Hats Hats!" (this one is breathing fire), "Today only: free starapple with purchase!", and "Get your injectors here today!" There is a small display of injectors. There is small box with starapples. There is an enormous pile of hats.
Dromad Merchant: Live and drink traveler! Welcome to Maniaq's Grand Emporium! Where the savings are as high as the Spindle!! Would you like one of our many fine hats today??
Interior, Dromad Merchant Emporium. Several chalkboards have been haphazardly arranged around the room. They read: "WELCOME TO THE EMPORIUM!!", "Hats Hats Hats Hats!" (this one is breathing fire), "Today only: free starapple with purchase!", and "Weird Artifacts Available Now!" There is a weird pile of weird artifacts. There is small box with starapples. There is an enormous pile of hats.
Dromad Merchant: Live and drink, nomad! Welcome to Maniaq's Grand Emporium! Where the savings are as bottomless as the Rust Wells! Would you like one of our many fine hats today??
Interior, Dromad Merchant Emporium. Several chalkboards have been haphazardly arranged around the room. They read: "WELCOME TO THE EMPORIUM!!", "Hats Hats Hats Hats HATS!" (this one is breathing fire), "Today only: free starapple with purchase! (of hat)", and "Weird Artifacts Available Now! Today only: Strange Tubes!" There is a weird pile of weird artifacts topped with strange tubes. There is small box with starapples. There is an enormous pile of hats.
Dromad Merchant: Live and drink, villager! Welcome to Maniaq's Grand Emporium! Where the savings are as vast as the great salt desert! Would you like one of our many fine hats today??
Snapjaw Villager: (pointing to equipped slimy salt-encrusted tarry Leather Cap [cracked]) Already got a hat. Wanna strapple!
Maniaq, Dromad Merchant: The starapples are a promotional item, available only with purchase of a hat. The starapples are free!! But you must first buy a hat!
Snapjaw Villager: (removing slimy salt-encrusted tarry Leather Cap [cracked] and waving it around) But already got a hat! Wanna strapple! Strapple!!
Maniaq, Patient Dromad Merchant: Perhaps you could buy a new hat? That one seems to have served its purpose. We have this lovely wide-brimmed--
Snapjaw Villager: (interrupting and brandishing slimy salt-encrusted tarry Leather Cap [cracked]) This my best favorite hat! Not gonna get new hat! Already! Got! A! Hat! Wanna! Strapple!
Maniaq, Less Patient Dromad Merchant: You can only get a free! starapple if you Purchase. A. Hat!
Snapjaw Villager: (frustrated snapjaw noises) But you a dromad! You sell! Sell me strapple! Why hats?! Just sell strapple! You can do it! I b'lieb in you!
Maniaq, Impatient Dromad Mechant: If you're not going to buy a hat, then you're not getting a starapple! Come back when you want to buy a hat!
Snapjaw Villager runs out of The Emporium making sad snapjaw noises.
Maniaq, Industrious Dromad Merchant rearranges the display of hats to seem more appealing.
Enter Uwufwufagrubo, Stalwart Snapjaw Bear-Baiter, wearing bloody Two-Faced Knollworm Skull of Terrifying Visage and Bear's Face and Salthopper's Face.
Uwufwufagrubo, Stalwart Snapjaw Bear-Baiter: Wanna strapple.
Maniaq, Startled Dromad Merchant: Th-the starapples are a... a promotional item...! Y-you get one free! with the purchase of... of a hat...!
Uwufwufagrubo, Stalwart Snapjaw Bear-Baiter: None hat. Gimme strapple.
Maniaq, Fearful Dromad Merchant: (offering starapple) Um... I just... just remembered! T-today only! S-starapples can be purchased individually for thr-two! Two drams each! S-special promotion!!
Uwufwufagrubo, Stalwart Snapjaw Bear-Baiter: Not 'vidual. All strapples.
Maniaq, Terrified Dromad Merchant: (handing over whole box of starapples) O-of course! H-here you are! V-v-valued! C-customer! T-t-two-two drams each!
Uwufwufagrubo, Stalwart Snapjaw Bear-Baiter: (offering slimy bloody tarry salt-encrusted unctuous two-handed Steel Warhammer) You take trade.
Maniaq, Horrified Dromad Merchant: (awkwardly taking slimy bloody tarry salt-encrusted unctuous two-handed Steel Warhammer) Y-yes, here at the emporium, we h-have a wonderful... (eeew) buyback program f-for (yuck) trade in items...!
Uwufwufagrubo, Stalwart Snapjaw Bear-Baiter hands a starapple to Snapjaw Villager who was waiting just outside the door.
Snapjaw Villager: Yaay! Strapple! Strapple!
Maniaq, Resolute Dromad Merchant: T-thank you...! Valued... valued customer! L-live and drink! And... (swallowing with difficulty) And come back often!