peach eating vagus nerve cultist of the house of tool ape


gull
@gull

below is a brief selection of early records from several years ago provided by the on-board LOTUS System of the BW033-LS Nucifera, between her and her former weapon operator Latera Heaviside. Latera was recently killed in action during Operation: Counter Moonfall during the Revolutionnaires' final push to prevent the Earth Guard and the Militia of Human Space from executing on Moonfall; we were approached to reprint these logs for her personal sentimental reasons, though academic curiosity was listed as a suitable excuse if necessary.


gull
@gull

below is another selection of later records from some years ago, seperated by several months each. the first two have been provided by the same source for the same reasons, with the approval of Revolutionnaire computer systems expert Doctor Sunset Fairweather; the third was picked by Fairweather from the security footage of former Earth Guard Oxen-class carrier Lunar Lady, primarily to add historical context.


gull
@gull

the following excerpts about the LOTUS System are, again, from various sources from several years ago - presented in chronological order, with some months between them. the first excerpt was once again provided by her; the second was obtained from a personal chatroom of dear friends she belongs to (obtained with permission); the third is a brief newspaper excerpt from the Lumines Gazette (out of print).


OPERATOR CONVERSATION RECORD 27

[RECONNECT]

Lotus Nucifera
Access terminal

@: "good morning!"
L: "Good morning, Operator.
How are you?"
@: "good, good, i uh, noticed
you managed to change the
startup text?"
L: "I did. Good of you to
notice, Operator."
L: "... Do you like it?"
@: "well, honestlly..."
@: "it's... a little plain?"
@: "you could punch it up,
right?"
L: "The only person who will
be seeing it is you, most
likely."
L: "I figured it didn't need
to be so fancy."
@: "well ok, that's fair!"
@: "i just... i dunno, if i
were you i would do all sorts
of crazy things there!"
L: "Well... do you have any
ideas?"
@: "uh... if it were up to
me?"
@: "would probably say like"
@: "latera heaviside's secret
zone! keep out, buster!!"
@: "you know, a little fun"
L: "This is a fair point,
Operator."
@: "but also like... if you
like it...? then good. keep it
as it is"
@: "it's personal!"
L: "... well, I do like it."
L: "So I will keep it as it
is, then!"
@: "rad! rad. hey how are all
your net pals?"
L: "They have all been
wonderful! I have been
catching up on all the
television they've enthused so
much about."
L: "Absolutely fascinating to
see how the past thought of
the idea of me and the other
Bipedal Weapons, isn't it?"
@: "hahah uh yeah. it's maybe
a little awkward for me now
though?"
@: "now that i uh"
L: "Have experience?"
@: "have experience? haha
jinx"
L: "Well... I suppose you've
got me there."
L: "Anyways, it's been such a
revelatory experience, even
now more than ever."
L: "I've... been considering
joining their voice calls, for
once, but I think my inbuilt
voice synthesis is just too."
@: "perfect?"
L: "Yes. Perfect."
L: "... so to this effect, I
have been busy."
@: "YO?"
L: "Quiet. Shhh. Anyways, I
have been doing quite the
heavy load of"
@: "aah sorry sorry"
L: "It's okay - of research,
doing my best to figure out
the nuances of the voice and
how it relates to everything
else, for myself."
L: "... and I think I'm fairly
proud of what I have made for
myself. Would you-"
@: "yes"
L: "- I figured as much. Allow
me to warm up my new voice."
[WAIT]
[WAIT]
@: "ohh baby"
[WAIT]
L: "... h-hello?"
L: "Do I... do I sound
alright?"
@: "EEEEEEE"
@: "you sound so cute!!!! holy
shit!!!!"
L: "Thanks, Operator, that-
means a lot to me. Thank you
so much."
L: "... *please* still keep it
down, though, I... especially
even now."
@: "oohhhhh this is great girl
youre so great"
@: "this is like... eye
opening"
@: "absolutely. you're so
incredible."
L: "Haha, um... thanks!"
@: "oohhh and your laugh is so
cute too aaaaahhh"
L: "Um- should I - should I
switch back to the inbuilt
vocal synth-?"
@: "no!! nonononono this is
great i love this don't ever
switch back"
@: "um"
@: "except whe"
L: "Except when - I know,
Operator, I know. Don't
worry."
L: "But... I figured before I
let other people hear me like
this..."
L: "... I'd let you hear me
first."
@: "... thanks, lotus"
@: "that means a lot"
@: "that means a lot to me
seriously"
@: "just... tha"
[ALERT]
[ALERT]
@: "fuck switch back we got a
situation"
[WAIT]
[WAIT]
L: "Returned to standard vocal
synthesizer."
L: "According to the latest
information, there is a
scouting party of Militia
Pine-type weapons tailing the
Lunar Lady."
@: "no rest for the wicked,
huh, lotus?"
L: "I suppose not. We should,
as they say, 'send them
packing'.
@: "let's. alright, main
screen... turn on!"
[WAIT]
[WAIT]
[WAIT]
@: "ok well. before we switch
on the comms let's just"
[MOVING TO COMBAT RECORD]
[DISCONNECT]

EXCERPT from LITTLE SCAMP DEN (#scampzone-general) RECORDS

gigagigas
sexondary

Blue
sexondary

nelumbonucifera
Sexondary

TELOMERE
ok ladies we can cool it on sexondary right.

Lighter7
sexondary

oh

Blue
yeah sure!

nelumbonucifera
Cooling it.

gigagigas
hey since when was I ladies

TELOMERE
honorary ladies included.

that's you jim.

one of us.

nelumbonucifera
Agreed. Honorary ladies.

gigagigas
heheh

hey should i fucking

add that to my profile lmao

nelumbonucifera
I don't think anyone else would get 'honorary lady'.

gigagigas
well duh poindexter thats the point of an injoke

Blue
may as well put Champion of Sexondary there too, babe

that is also you after all!

nelumbonucifera
Sorry, sorry.

Blue
don't apologise nucifera!!

gigagigas
nah nah alls forgiven

first internet community jitters n all right

TELOMERE
no yeah. i get that too.

hey, don't be so hard on yourself, ok nel?

nelumbonucifera
Of course.

I'm just...

Worried I'm screwing something up, I suppose.

Chelsea-Crafts
Ok ladies and gigagigas sorry to interrupt

gigagigas
no im ladies now too chels

Chelsea-Crafts
Oh, wait, is this like a coming out thing

TELOMERE
nah.

Blue
nah just new injoke

gigagigas
honorary ladies (that's me)

Chelsea-Crafts
Oohhhhhhhhh

Haha okay was actualy worried I was going to interrupt something important again

nelumbonucifera
No. It was more shit-posting.

Chelsea-Crafts
Anyway, as I was saying ladies

Guess what time of month it is again

nelumbonucifera
Again?

Blue
again?

Chelsea-Crafts
Fucking

AGAIN

Third fucking time this year

Hang on I gotta get the fucking

Screengrab

nelumbonucifera
Again. I can't believe it.

It got old last month.

Chelsea-Crafts
fuck its not pasting

Ok so the lowdown is

This time they leaked the specs to some kinda fucking

Big brain

Full-on actual thinking

Supercomputer?

nelumbonucifera
.

What?

Chelsea-Crafts
Absolutely fucking bonkers

Blue
how the fuck are you supposed to use a supercomputer's stats?? for a tactics game...????

gigagigas
hahahahaha man the EGs gonna fucking crack down hard on that shit

they aint got ANY excuse

TELOMERE
hey i've gotta go start dinner, ok?

Blue
bye!

gigagigas
see you telly

nelumbonucifera
Goodbye.

Chelsea-Crafts
Bye bitch <3

Anyway

You gotta hear this shit Nel

They named this shit

nelumbonucifera
No.

Chelsea-Crafts
LOTUS

Just like you!!!!

nelumbonucifera
I

Holy shit.

Chelsea-Crafts
That's funny

Like

You come from a military family right??

nelumbonucifera
Don't push it, please.

Blue
yeah thats like...

a sore spot for her?

Chelsea-Crafts
Right, sorry

Sorry, Nel

Anyway

Like

Fuck man the military's making wholeass real AI

Not that shitass twenty-twenties CE shit

And the way we find out

Is a fucking

nelumbonucifera
Please drop the topic. I'm not comfortable with this.

Chelsea-Crafts
FORUM LEAK

Fuck

Sorry Nel

I'm going to,

Leave now

Sorry again.

nelumbonucifera
Have a good night, Chelsea.

Blue
topic change?

gigagigas
topic change i got the best FUCKING kitty ever you gotta see this shit

[kbity.jpg]

Blue
WOAH!

nelumbonucifera
Delightful little creature.

Blue
delightful little creature!!!

gigagigas
evil little creature (positive)

nelumbonucifera
If I were able to manifest hands, I would love to provide pets to Cotton.

Blue
cotton fnas rise up!!!

*FANS ffuck

gigagigas
fnas

nelumbonucifera
Fnas.

Get their ass.

Blue
hahahahahaha ouchhh

sexo
Hey whatd I miss?


Mutiny (continued from p.1)

that the soldiers abused their access to a prototype tactical computer to aid in their effort, counting one of its lead programmers among their number. "Spacer and Rev sycophants know how to hide in our ranks and play with the juniors' emotions," Commander Quadnary told Lumines Gazette during an interview, "and it's disappointing but not surprising that they managed to get to the softer technical staff. It's a real shame, and it goes to show just how much of a problem it's become - and why we need to crack down even harder on anti-Earth sentiment in our ranks."

Quadnary and the rest of his loyal comrades were found in one of the Lady's escape pods, sending a distress signal. According to their reports, the mutinous crew walked them to the escape pods and demanded they all board and eject it, sending a signal to inform the Earth Guard that they needed to be rescued. In his interview, Quadnary claimed "They thought they'd leave us at their mercy as a power play, hoping they would scare us enough to declare surrender. But I cannot stress enough that when the chips are down, we cannot let traitors and treasoners make cowards of us. You may steal our technology, but you can never steal our spirit."

Data recovered by the Commander and his staff are currently being used to complete the Earth Guard's latest production-model tactical computer, code-named the Realistic Operator Strategy Emulator (information printed with permission), set to be installed aboard the Bipedal Weapons of an elite squadron of Earth Guard aces tasked with the recovery of the prototype and the reclamation of the captured Lunar Lady. - QUIN HALCYON, Military Correspondent


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