our one boy who was always grouchy and touchy and easily overstimulated is so much more vocal and affectionate every week
we have had them separate for meal times for a while because they both have prescription food and really shouldnt share as much as they would like to; the shy boy would prefer his brother to share 100% of his food ofc
one of the things we did here is get some slightly longer than necessary blackout shades for the bedroom. we put a small cat tower next to the window and covered it with the shades. he slurps up his food and then lounges in his warm little solarium in a room where he usually has total privacy, since we tend to feed them and then ourselves
our communication has improved, and i think some of it has to do with simply extending his private time. he is an anxious little bean who in the past would frequently display behaviors like solicit attention, get overstimulated, and draw blood after asking for another interaction that set him off. sometimes he would flee and come back after a while and display affection, unusual at the time otherwise, as if apologetic. these days its hardly a concern. a few months of getting at least four hours a day where he doesnt have to worry about other creatures and he is able to reject interactions peacefully. the soft slap is a much-preferred mode of communication but even that much isnt often needed.
the psychology is just dripping off this and it is evident to me that this is a small furry man who is recovering from living in a garbage dump on a psychic minefield right along us. he is us, in a very real way. he has the trust and space necessary to express his needs, now that he is not living with anyone who reacts harshly to his vocalization or play. he still struggles and gets overwhelmed, but whomst among us? he and his brother get along better because someone isnt constantly stopping them from expressing themselves to each other. you gotta separate cats if they fight, sure, but you cant just stop them from doing natural cat communications entirely. just like any other people, it makes their abuse of each other and their living spaces worse. they have a lot of the same psychic injury we have from that man and that place.
these little guys went from rarely making sounds to singing for food. we went out of our way to respond to their voices positively, and now they talk to us all the time. the shy boy is still shy and nervous but he is also coming to me for affection on his own at least once a day instead of extremely rarely, and sometimes will raise his voice to get my attention. every night, he gets a little more confident in being excited about meal prep. i am proud of my fuzzy orange autistic son for helping me learn to communicate with him better. i am hopeful for us, since our cats remind us both that outcomes change when you change the conditions. now is not forever.