excerpt follows from the page and section linked below
The Story of the Magic Chocolate Bunnies (Neoliberalism, a Rabbit’s Libido, and the Children)
(Durito’s Homage to the Westerns by do you remember The Good, the Bad, and the Ugly?)
ONCE UPON A TIME there were three children. One was good, one was bad, and the other was El Sup. Coming from different directions, they arrived at a house and went in. Inside the house there was only a table. On that table there was a plastic container, like the kind used for ice cream or slushies, one for each child. Inside each white plastic container (take note: they had no brand name or logo), there were two chocolate bunnies and a slip of paper. The slip of paper said:
Instructions for Using the Two Chocolate Bunnies
After 24 hours, this pair of chocolate bunnies will reproduce and make a new pair of bunnies. Every twenty-four hours thereafter, the pairs of chocolate bunnies inside this white plastic container will multiply into other pairs. In this way, the owner of this magic plastic container will always have chocolate bunnies to eat. The only condition is that there must always be one pair of chocolate bunnies inside this plastic container, like the kind used for ice cream or slushies.
Each child took his white plastic container.
The bad child couldn’t wait twenty-four hours and ate his two chocolate bunnies. He enjoyed the moment, but he no longer had chocolate bunnies. Now he has none to eat, but he is left with the memory of and nostalgia for the chocolate bunnies.
The good child waited the twenty-four hours and was rewarded with four chocolate bunnies. After another twenty-four hours, he had eight chocolate bunnies. As the months passed, the good child opened a chain of chocolate bunny stores. After a year, he had branches all over the country. He was financed with foreign capital and began to export. He was eventually named “Man of the Year” and became immensely rich and powerful. He eventually sold his shares in the chocolate bunny industry to foreign investors, and became a mere executive in the company. In order not to cut into the profits, he never tasted the chocolate bunnies. He no longer owns the magic white plastic container, nor does he know what chocolate bunnies taste like.
The child Sup, instead of chocolate bunnies, put walnut ice cream in the white plastic container, like the kind used for ice cream or slushies. Changing the whole premise of the story, he packed a half-liter of walnut ice cream between his chest and back, and ruined the moral of the story of the chocolate bunnies, deducing that all final options are a trap.
Neo-moral: Walnut ice cream has dangerous implications for neoliberalism. Questions for understanding the story:
Which of these children will become president of the republic?
Which of these children will belong to an opposition party?
Which of these children should be killed for violating the Law for Dialogue, Reconciliation, and a Peace with Dignity in Chiapas?
If you’re a woman, would you like to give birth to one of these children?
Send your answers to Huapac Leaf #69, with copies to the Ministry of the Interior and the Cocopa.
Tan-tan.
SO, WHAT DO YOU think of the story? Come now, don’t be shy to say it’s grand! I hope you find a really good editor, like the ones who work with Carlos Monsivais,[118] etcetera. Vale.
DON DURITO OF THE LACANDON
P.S. I ALMOST FORGOT THE instructions on how to get down from the ceiba. They are very simple, just follow the ... Instructions on How to Get Down from the Ceiba. Are you sure you don’t want to come down? With your eyes shut, walk to the end of the branches. Don’t be afraid (although I’m not denying that a good parachute would come in handy). Soon you will reach your destination (?).