ryusui

"It's the greatest day."

  • he/him

maker of tiny games | navigator of retail chaos | artist | FFXIV fan (Ryusui Teira@Brynhildr) | he/him | trans rights are human rights | death to crypto


PositronicWoman
@PositronicWoman

i want you to extend the benefit of the doubt to the zoomers, generation alpha, and beyond. i want you to remember how many of us had brains brined in reactionary rot from news media. i want you to recall the bombardment of misogyny from impossible beauty standards. i want you to recollect the suspicion and distrust we were treated with.

do not reinstitute generational warfare. do not abhor and decry the future as a lost cause. if you have the power and opportunity to be a good influence to younger people, take it. i would not be the person i am today without the love and good faith extended to me by the people around me on my old forums. i grew up in an especially white, racist, and queerphobic village in Michigan, with a remarkably evil and miserable father while i was bullied literally every day in school until my senior year of high school. i literally had people tell me to my face they thought i'd be a school shooter.

I WOULD NOT HAVE ESCAPED without a moderator on a forum offering me a place to stay on her couch and the love from friends online telling me i could be better, do better. We are all in this together. I know it's safer to hide, to mind your own business. Sometimes you have to extend your hand anyway. I have gone from being a miserable little shit that used jokes to cover up a bruised ego to a loved woman who has been called an angel, a superhero, a shonen protagonist, a knight, and on one most memorable occasion a likely member of the Tzadikim Nistarim.

I DO NOT LIKE TOOTING MY OWN HORN. It makes me deeply uncomfortable to be anything but meek and humble because I was raised Catholic and to be otherwise was unseemly, and even besides that some of the worst people I know have big heads about themselves. With that in mind, I lay myself bare to show you what could be, what can come to pass when you offer love and support to the younger generation. I am not asking you to assume all trolls are secretly deeply sensitive people. I am asking you to look closely, to notice when a bleeding heart is among you. Extend them a bandage and an embrace. The future might be built with their hands.


jkap
@jkap

the reason why we allowed users under 18 on cohost is because i strongly believe that cross-generation interaction is good for literally everyone. the only reason i turned out even remotely normal is because when i was 16 i had a bunch of friends in their late 20s and 30s and they treated me like an actual person.

it saddens me to see other people my age treat The Youth like they're uniquely annoying or whatever, like we weren't a bunch of fucking morons at that point. how many 30 year olds have you had to tell to touch grass. there's just as many obnoxious 40 year olds as there are obnoxious 20 year olds and you are doing yourself a disservice by writing off everyone younger than you because you saw one stupid tweet one time.

you will have a better time if you treat each other like people. the internet makes that hard but it's necessary. we hoped we could lessen that perceived separation somewhat and i'm not sure if we succeeded but that doesn't mean i think it's any less important.


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in reply to @PositronicWoman's post:

in reply to @jkap's post:

I'm only who I am now because people older than me were willing to be patient when most otherwise would not have. Not only when I was Young, but also when I was older, but still acting like a child.

(some would argue that's still the case etc etc)

cross-generation interaction is good for literally everyone

As someone who's definitely younger than the average cohost user, this 100%. It's been genuinely wonderful to see the insights & perspectives from people older than me, given a space where nuanced thoughts are appreciated. There's so much I learned from people on here that the existing platforms couldn't have ever made space for.

thank you for creating cohost <3

There might be an alternate timeline where I was the victim of grooming because I bypassed an age gate to play Team Fortress 2, but we live in the one where I'm sobered and matured by the experiences I've had online and in real life. The sharing of ideas and important life facets might not happen without these spaces existing to permit them, so I'm certainly glad we've already been doing our part to foster intergenerational empowerment and improve that for people we might not ever meet.

yeah I definitely feel this. for as much as I very guilty of the whole "ugh a kid again" thing... I also wouldn't be here if people slightly (sometimes even more) older than me didn't respect me enough to treat me like a person when people around me IRL wouldn't.

it would drive me mad when people on reddit/warcraft would be like "ugh the kids are on summer break" to me, not realizing that i was one of those kids. (and also that we could log into video games when it was not the summer in just the same way someone logs on after work). such an easy scapegoat

I know you mean well, but the reason a lot of us are against cross-generational interaction in online communities is because of grooming and not because of kids being annoying. For many of us, it's not that we don't trust kids, it's that we don't trust fellow adults.

I had a lot of older "friends" from different corners of the internet and irl as a minor and every single one of them groomed me. I was groomed sexually and in that way where adults started relying on me pick up their very adult emotional baggage. Because of my loneliness and ostracization from my peers, it actually made it easier for those adults to abuse me. I respect the idealism, but these interactions don't play out that way for many of us. I'm glad that you had a positive experience, but like me, almost every girl and queer person I grew up with got groomed to some extent by someone older than them.

I don't think it makes sense for a large website like cohost to make communities 18+, but for smaller ones absolutely. When I stumble into a discord that's filled with strangers and young people, I don't feel those young people are being protected. It is incredibly common for people to get groomed online as minors.

Young people definitely needs adults in their lives to protect them but I feel like the context of a lot of these spaces does not make it possible.

I could stand to think more like this, honestly. I came up through a small web community with folks who were 10-20 years older than me and I’m eternally grateful for their patience as I worked through my dumb teen bullshit. Most of them became lifelong friends. Despite that, I often catch myself completely dismissing posts by younger folks these days.

One of the most notable things I remember from the whole Zamii drama on tumblr, the one where a rabid mob decided it was their moral duty to bully a teenager into attempting suicide, was the guy in the aftermath throwing a tantrum because he'd had a visit from the cops to give him a citation for online harrassment, complaining about how unfair it was that the police were calling him the bad guy for harassing someone who "deserved it".

He posted a picture of the citation and forgot to redact his personal information.

He was a grown-ass dude in his mid twenties.