up super late again thinking about how I'd feel about my life if I was creatively fulfilled. some art lately gets me deep into this envious mindspace of wanting to be the one who got to create it, though I think it's just a formless depression that's trying to inhabit any feeling of discontent in my head

doesn't help that it feels like I've been shoved out of the industry I was used to and I currently have no means of getting back in as I am now