sarah zedig! 🍉🐐

an old video of mine from 2018 about the process of unfurling your gender after realizing you might be trans, and the unsung qualities of being "in transition." but it's mostly me interrogating myself through layers and layers of internal self-delusion in the hopes of figuring out where the hell this girl came from. heed the content warnings and know that it gets a little bit evangelion by the end.

i can't believe i released this four years ago. the violent birth of my self as a trans woman, the symbolic beginning of who i am today. it's an exploration of the concept of "transitioning" from the perspective of a newly-out trans woman struggling to find her way from who she was before to who she will eventually become. this was so important to me back in 2018 because at the time there were so so so few firsthand accounts of the messy process of transitioning, what it meant, how it worked. everything was written by people who had already "transitioned," people who felt comfortable in their new selves. that's great and aspirational obviously but it didn't tell me anything about how to get there. "it gets better" only goes so far, you know?

the last two years especially have been so densely harrowing, it feels like i made transitioning decades ago. i'm still so immensely proud of this thing, man.