a big part of being trans online is not relating to 90% of relatable trans posts & that's ok
i was never able to get into fallout new vegas and every time someone online talks about it as a Trans ExperienceĀ® it gives me hives
also most moe anime drives me up a fucking wall and I donāt really click with yuri unless the girls are banging, thinking about banging, or actively trying to murder each other
I never got the appeal of DnD. I hate almost all forms of fantasy that aren't heavily based on real life.
I canāt stand pickles. I donāt mind pickled jalapeƱos, but pickles (I.e. pickled cucumbers) are a flat no from me. Always picked them off of my burgers when taking out and eventually learned to special order at restaurants when they are typically included.
But yeah, I have some early childhood trauma from a snack share day in kindergarten and being forced as an autistic kid (who didnāt know she was autistic or a girl at the time) to try everyoneās favorite snack. It didnāt go well.
My salt cravings from the spiro when I was on it were sated by French fries, instead!
I remember seeing a fantastic Twitter thread a while back from a Black trans woman (I searched for it, couldn't find it, sorry) about how a lot of the things that get claimed as "queer culture" by white trans women tend to just be things that are part of a suburban white male upbringing that white trans women brought with them when they transitioned, rather than things that are actually emblematic of the queer community.
I've never made a picrew. Don't really like seeing myself depicted in any sort of cartoon/anime form.
Between the aforementioned thread about how online "transfemme culture" is a collection of tropes brought forward from pretransition cis-presenting interests and another thread on here from early this year where someone talked about transitioning in the past and the stereotypes from her area was that trans femmes were hair stylists and the like, there's a lot to think about.
Hello,
My name is Emily Smart and I hail from Nova Scotia, Canada. I came out to my ex-wife at the age of 32. My early childhood consisted of my parents getting divorced when I was 4 years old, which led my mother to raising us for a few years in a trailer park before we moved to a very small farming community. After that I spent most of my formulative years as the stepdaughter of a lobster fisherman. It was a loud and financially poor upbringing, including a year in what should've been a condemned building with walls infested by spiders. I was often surrounded by large men banging the table and boisterously sharing drinks and crude jokes, and often had to make my own entertainment outside of that as I didn't even have the internet or any contact with life outside the fishing village until I was 16.
Now I haven't met you yet, but maybe you grew up in a comfortable, quiet suburban home, never at the top of the world but never struggling either. Or you over there, maybe you were lucky enough to be born to a queer household and were able to chase your dreams and/or yourself earlier than most. Or even you over there who grew up alone, never talking to everybody, even transitioning in silence keeping to yourself.
The four of us may very well have absolutely nothing in common aside from popping estrogen. There's no culture tie, no shared experience outside of being of similar genders. And that's just the thing isn't it. You look around, your initial social experience may have suffered from your transition and the fact that hey you went from being a majority to someone that represents like what, .3 to .5 percent of the population depending on which stats you look at?
So you go online looking for a community, a place to belong. But what you come across are those of us who were already Very Online pretransition, and as such they have the appearance of setting the 'norms' of what being us is. But that's not you, or me, or you over there. Why is this so hard and isolating?
Culture often seems to be something that you're born into. Whether it's racial, geographic or even religious a lot of cultures are something that's been fostered since birth. But that's not the same for us is it? We weren't born as we are, we had to pursue that and change years/decades after the fact. Mixed in with that is the fact that white history was built on rugged hyper-individuality instead of inclusiveness and yeah, you get put in a situation where you basically have to find "your people" except there's no unifying culture as we weren't raised to be included with each other. Even when you find other trans people they may be very, very different from who you are even at the most core level and it can be alienating.
I guess what I'm suggesting is don't sweat "white trans culture". It doesn't exist anyway, the whole concept is a meme. You are who you are, but even if it's harder to find "your people" I promise you that you're not alone, even if you can't relate to what some people say online. 
