Saturn🪐

....I dunno, man. I wish I could give a half heart to this, because leaving it off isn't entirely fair, but giving it the whole like also isn't entirely fair, either. It feels like for as much really cool, really interesting stuff that the movie touches on, or almost touches on...there's a lot of really, really, *REALLY* dumb shit that just makes me roll my eyes and makes my groan

It's so weird, because in a lot of ways it feels like a step down from Jurassic World, which I already didn't have the highest opinion of, but it almost reaches the heights of at least TLW, which, if nothing else, I thought was a really cool action popcorn flick

I dunno, man. I'm so conflicted, I wish I could definitively if I really liked it or really disliked it

Wow...it's somehow even worse than the stories foretold. Fury of the Gods is a movie that has nothing to say, and isn't interested in doing anything particularly interesting, or profound, or artistic, or coherent, for that matter

It wants to be a goofy, lighthearted comedy, it wants to be a sincere, heartfelt family flick, and it wants to be a dramatic superhero movie, and it doesn't particularly do any of it very well and these elements, which could work when put together, just end up clashing

If this is the direction the DCEU was going in, perhaps it deserves to die

Jurassic World is....complicated. I saw it too many times to count in theaters, and several years have passed between the last time I watched it and now. I liked it, I think...but by all measures I feel like I should have hated it. The script can be unbearable at times, the nostalgia can feel super heavyhanded...but a lot of it is really cool. The raptor bike gang is stupid, but charming stupid for someone who was a teenager when I first saw it, the way they attempt to, and fail to, weaponize the raptors could've been set up for something way more interesting, the kills are about as brutal as I would hope for, and the ending shot is magnificent

So really....I don't know what to think about it. I have as many bad things to say about it as I do good

What the actual, literal, serious, genuine fuck was any of this