Deeper and deeper into the woods you walk. Seeking solitude, retreat. Away from the village in which you were born, but that has never truly been your home.
Your aunt had always warned you against going this deep in the woods. She'd tell stories about forest beasts and old, gnarled things left best undisturbed.
But you don't care anymore. You just need to get away from those expectant gazes, those nagging reminders to do this, act this way. The crushing pressure to be someone who isn't you, to achieve things you could never achieve. To be a strong son for the family - when in your heart you know you aren't even their son at all.
And so, your eyes wet with tears, you delve further. Through the brush, past the bamboo, deeper and deeper...
And then, you hear a little giggle just off the side of your ear.
You leap backwards in shock, pressing yourself against a nearby tree. And a little whispy thing pops into your vision.
It floats, glowing, in the air, about the size of your hand. Shaped almost like a ferret, but indistinct - like it was drawn with a thick brush in a handful of strokes. It glows a pale warm off-white, and doesn't seem quite fully solid.
It giggles again. "Don't be scared! I won't play tricks on your or anything. The Lady of the forest gets mad at me if I prank anyone other than humans. Something something, diplomatic relations."
The way it phrased that... other than humans?
"Uh" you say, still catching your breath in shock. "H-hello. Nice to meet you, uh..."
The little ferret-brushstroke-spirit-thing flits around, coming to rest floating just over your shoulder. "You can call me Su. What brings you to the Lady's forest?"
Okay. Deep breaths. Your aunt said that if you ever encounter something of the old forest, you should be polite as you excuse yourself and apologize for your transgression, then go back the way you came. Right.
"Uh, my apologies, I must have gotten lost. I was just at the edge of the forest, uh, um, looking for herbs. I have to get back to the village-"
Su gives a little cackle - a sharp, short HEH!. "The village? What would a pretty girl like you want with those stinky humans? Unless you're playing tricks and not inviting me!~"
Pretty... girl? Maybe you misheard. But... you've never told anyone about those feelings in your heart. Least of all an impetuous little forest spirit. But to hear someone call you a girl, even in error... you take a sharp breath.
You unpress yourself from the tree, brush the dirt off your clothes. "I'm sorry, there must be a case of mistaken identity. As you can so plainly see, I am just another human of th-"
Su flits up right into your face, looking very cross indeed. "Good miss! Are you insulting my perception? That disguise may fool a human but it doesn't fool me!"
You stand there, frozen. D-disguise?
And you hear more voices from the forest. Whispers. You see more little spirit creatures flit around at the edges of your vision.
"Su is so funny when they're angry, hehe!"
"Who's the newcomer? Did a youngin from the Beast Village get lost?"
"She looks kinda sad. On the inside too, not just on her face. Like she's holding a great pain."
Your next words slip out, unbidden. Unconsidered, straight and unfiltered from your heart. A question, an expression of confusion, but tinted with a little bit of faint relief. "You're telling me I'm... not human?"
The whispering turns to gasps all around you.
"She doesn't know?"
"She doesn't know!"
"Wait, that can happen?"
"Maybe she lost her memory while disguised?"
"More likely she was raised as a human methinks."
Su's cross face turns to one of empathy. "O-oh! Oh I'm sorry, I thought you were trying to trick me. I didn't even imagine that... you didn't know. It must be horrible, being stuck like that."
Something rips in your heart. You slump down against the tree, suddenly lost in a rush of emotion.
You're... not human. And these beings see you as a girl. They see right through you, deeper than even you could. It cuts too deep to be a lie.
You clutch your hand to your chest. If you aren't human, then what are you?
You close your eyes, shut out the whispering spirits, and look within. Maybe the magic of this place can help you know.
You try to empty your mind. Maybe if you push away those anxieties and worries that have always surrounded you, as best you can, you can get a glimpse - a glimpse of what secret you hold inside - what trick has been pulled on you.
You focus. Push away those worries, and push away that false name. You're delving within, to seek yourself.
Your mind casts to a dark forest. There's a figure standing in the center of a clearing.
She turns around. A fox-woman, in a beautiful, silken dress. Her fur is the color of a dark, cooling flame, her eyes the color of hydrangea petals. She has a thick, bushy tail, and a warm, bright, mischievous smirking smile.
You know that smile, because you've felt it on your face, in your rare happy moments. A smile of simple joys, a smile beamed at sights of beauty and comedy of your own creation. The smile of a seeker, a clever wanderer, a trickster.
The smile that has always belonged on your face, and that won't be hidden anymore.
She (you) reaches her (your) paw out...
And you jolt open your eyes. Su is staring right down your muzzle, entranced.
Wait. Your muzzle?
You glance down at your hand - and see that same paw. That dusky fur. And you realize - you're peering out of those hydrangea eyes. You feel your ear flick, and that bushy tail sway.
And, slumped against a tree, surrounded by gasping, aaah-ing forest spirits, you feel that smile dawn across your face.
And through sharp fangs, you make a little cackle.
All along, you were only tricking yourself.
