I want to send a message to the ghoul who keeps putting passive aggressive notes on my door about the garden in my front yard that's "a little too phallic". This warrants a direct response.

It's a million degrees up here, so I am buck naked. I'm so damn drenched in sweat. I slip and lose my footing and go crashing through the floor. No better time than the present to learn what is structural.

Anyways, my bare ass and balls are hanging out from the ceiling of the balcony below. It's all glistening in the sunshine of magic hour. I can hear the cackling of neighborhood children as the stones they hurl slap against my cheeks. I need to take a shit real bad, but not felony offense bad.

My phone is in reach, so I'm currently watching YouTube to pass the time until the ceiling collapses. Been getting really into watching people make really tiny food as of late.