Gentle reminder that in many cases, if enablers of abusers fit the abuser's target profile, they are often the 1st victims and it can be harder for them to break away, especially without a strong support network.
This is NOT to justify any enabling actions: I firmly believe ex-enablers should hold themselves accountable for their actions and don't automatically "deserve" absolution or anything from the abuser's other victims just for breaking off (any given should be treasured as the largesse it is). I am simply trying to say that if someone you saw as an enabler because of their support for an abuser is finally breaking away (and you are NOT also a victim of the abuser, I cannot stress that enough), support, not scorn, is what they need. A lot of times abusers manipulate themselves into their victims' lives until they're entangled and the whole point is to make it difficult for any of their victims to break away.
(P.S. Obviously "y'all don't support me, I'll go back to the shitty person" is a shitty person thing to do, I don't support that behavior either and it's not a justification for any of this; the point is compassion, particularly for victims who don't "fit the profile." The person who did the abuse in the first place is the one who deserves punishment.)
