An offline friend asked me to bring fries and tots to a thing (they are practically the only covid-safe people I know offline) and I was immediately convinced that her family hates my cooking and I'm about to be the paper plates and napkins lady. As a result I am overcompensating and making dietary-accommodating tots, splurgy queso, and buying fries because that way no matter why I am being asked I will have my bases covered. (I also plan on trying to bring up the topic in a light-hearted way tomorrow so we can clear the air one way or the other without damaging the friendship.)
This situation is absolutely ludicrous for several reasons which I'm going to write out here because a lot of y'all don't know me super well and also so that I can look back on it if the conversation goes poorly tomorrow and feel better about things, kind of like what mint was talking about above.
- reasons why it's ok, actually:
- everyone has different tastes and it's ok for some people not to like my cooking, especially because
- lots of people like my cooking, including my loved ones and other friends
- it might not even be about my cooking (this should probably be highlighted and underlined)
- even if it is, I've been bringing things not normally in my wheelhouse to accommodate for dietary needs that I was told about but not asked to accommodate (hello, people pleasing!), which might be because said person uses get-togethers as splurge days
- bringing napkins and paper plates is actually a lot less pressure and can also be cheaper than buying lots of ingredients to make things
- at the end of the day, even if I do end up being asked to bring plates and napkins, I'm still being invited and they're choosy folks so they still want me around and value my friendship and that's the most important part of all this.