Silly story time.
Back in December 2013, I went to a fighting game tournament just outside of Philadelphia: NEC or NorthEast Championship.
I was in college at the time so I was hyper tight on money. So I, and a few other Colorado friends stayed at an off-venue hotel for cheaper and did a 10 minute walk to the venue and back, each way. This went mostly fine and had its benefits because the venue hotel had a whole host of problems being near capacity, but it did limit us on food options.
We passed by two restaurants on the way to and from the venue hotel: The Philly Diner and Denny's. That made those our only options, but it was pre-2020 all they were open 24/7 at least.
Morning of Day 1
We were on our way to the venue running a little tight on time. We decided Denny's would be the quickest option. There I learned of The Hobbit™️ menu. I'm a sucker for sweets for breakfast. I get a Sweet Potato Pecan Pancakes meal.
Lunch of Day 1
Well we have some time before the next tournament event. We go back to Denny's to remain on time. I return to The Hobbit menu. I get the Bilbo's Breakfast Feast because I'm a sucker for breakfast anytime.
Evening of Day 1
Okay, that's enough Denny's, we gotta try the Philly Diner for something different...
Oh no, it's terrible....
Morning of Day 2
Well time is short again and Philly Diner isn't good so let's do Denny's again. I get the Hobbit Hole Breakfast.
Lunch of Day 2
Need to eat before the next event. I get Smaug's Fire Burger and come to the realization that I know nothing about Lord of the Rings and/or The Hobbit. Are they even the same?
Evening of Day 2
Some other friends wants to hit up the Philly Diner. I'm willing to try again, looking to break The Hobbit habit. It's still bad, but they dessert is good (probably because it was brought in by a local bakery).
Morning of Day 3
No rush today and I can NOT do Denny's again. I remember seeing a restaurant in the venue hotel that was serving breakfast until 10:30 AM. So we get there around 9:50 AM but there's no one at the front. We wait, it's looking moderately busy. Time passes, and passes again. A line is forming behind us. Finally when someone heads up to the hosting stand to tell us they're not serving breakfast anymore because we missed it. It was 10:20 AM. What the fuck? They can't do this to me... no no no no
I get the Dwarves' Turkey & Dressing Dinner and Bard's Pumpkin Milkshake.
Evening of Day 3
I have another Smaugh's Fire Burger. That's enough Denny's for me. I'm heading home early tomorrow so I'm fine with this final farewell to Denny's outside of Philly... and to eat literally anything else.
Morning of Day 4
My flight is canceled due to weather and the next flight isn't until early tomorrow morning...
I get a Grand Hobbit Slam with Hearty Sausage and Sweet Potato Pecan Pancakes with the Bowman's Brew Pumpkin Coffee.
Evening of Day 4
I legitimately blanked out this meal. I have come to acknowledge that I've eaten the entire The Hobbit™️ x Denny's promo menu. I know little of the source material(s?), but I stand as the biggest eat-based Hobbit fan. I am more Hobbit than human now.
.
..
...
but it was probably another burger fuck you Hobbit menu
Day 5
Finally, I leave Philadelphia to go back home where, after landing, I have to immediately drive to college to take my, now, twice post-poned final exam in front of a very frustrated math professor.
Full of Hobbit eats and the experience of my first heartburn, I cannot be stopped. I math the shit out of the final.*
*I did okay.
