I've been trying hard to just... make things work, but things aren't really working out. I'm worried about what's happening not only personally but in the world. I'm just trying to keep my mind in the game of keeping my cat, myself, and my household alive and trying to do more than survive.
I still haven't found work yet. Most of the places I've had callbacks from ended up not being who they claimed to be. I'm walking around to local places, so may have a few leads in that way. I have run out of the funds I was gifted, but I want to thank you all again for helping me with rent and cat food! Gimlet really appreciates being able to have wet food and litter! I'm glad I can feel somewhat like I was able to carve out time, I just wish I had success during my job search so far. Lots of call backs or rejections. Lots of sleepless nights. I have a few spots I'm still waiting to hear back from, but it's hard to remain hopeful after a few months of nothing and a few years of mostly the same.
In the meantime though, I'm still income-less but trying to not fall to despair. I'm working on side projects for some way of getting side income, but that also takes time to create and it's hard to do when you're also looking for work and cleaning house. I do intend on continuing streams, continuing my writing, continuing the job hunt. I've been learning how to create lots of recipes using beans and rice. Also, apparently, I've got student loans from the government starting back up too. That's thrown another wrench into my world I didn't need and can't afford.
At the moment, it looks like I'm not going to be able to meet any of my obligations this month, even if I were to find something soon. I don't really know what else to do though at this point. I need approximately 500 for rent and 250 for basics and necessities for the month. I am not paying some of my debts and bills, which is stacking up too. Even if I find something, I am in a really deep crevice, lost all my savings and retirement, and I'm almost 40 with a career that I don't want to follow any more. It's an actual mid life crisis given the life expectancy of this nation, and I'm approximately half the age of my father when he passed. The semblance sometimes sits in my heart like a drop of viscous sap, sucking up against my insides. This just keeps happening over and over again, is what I can't help but think.
I am going to keep asking for help, to stay alive and here with my found family. To help keep us together as we all work towards something better for ourselves and still able to meet the financial demands of this day and age. I also don't mind job type announcements sent my way, but I will say that I go through quite a few applications daily.
For those seeking someone, here's a short summary of my qualifications:
Over 14 years of combined professional experience in both private and public agencies.
Excellence in content production and management, customer service and support, analysis, and writing/editing.
Noted for creativity, resourcefulness, flexibility, high emotional capacity and intelligence, being a team player, and working well independently with minimal supervision.
High breadth of technical and soft skills with flexibility to rapidly learn new technology, skills, and communication styles and techniques.
Passionate for helping people and developing new ways to accomplish difficult tasks.
If you want to donate/gift to aid me and my family as well as Gimlet the Grey, here are a few options:
https://account.venmo.com/u/Billy-Butler-25
and
https://paypal.me/billybobbutler
Want to follow my stream? We're going to be talking about nonsense from time to time, playing games, and enjoying each other's company in this strange time:
https:// www.twitch.tv/shay_the_skunk
My schedule is erratic as I look for work and continue to tackle what appears to be the aftereffects of being sick with Covid. I get fatigued so easily now that it's become tough to find anything really. I also may explore doing some 'supernatural' detective work for people, as that may be some way for me to continue learning about the world and others and pursue something people want to give money for. The ability to note what is tangible versus what is not could be valuable to the people seeking answers in a world of misinformation.
This is an attempt to stay able to keep pursuing gainful employment here and ensure my cat doesn't learn the madness that is capitalism. He's a wonderful guy and I live with wonderful people in an incredible place, and I don't want to imagine having to give him and this space and my love up. I currently need approximately 750 dollars to keep things moving in a way that is somewhat okay. I need significantly more for how much debt I have now though, especially if I add in the student loans restarting. Woof, what a burden.
Everything helps, sharing is caring, and I am looking for work, so... 👀… if you want some creative writing, social media coordination/management consulting, data analysis and consultation, or want a spirit detective who will look into your possibly supernatural case and see if it requires more than a usual solution... hit me up maybe?
If you managed to read all the way down here, you're rad and Gimlet appreciates you. Thanks for spending your time on witnessing my plight. I hope things are going well for you and yours.
Unfortunately, I haven't yet found a job. The last call backs were rejections or were requesting I purchase thousands of dollars of materials or equipment before beginning, which I cannot and will not be doing. I can't make my part of rent and it's a strain on the house for my roommates to cover me. I also need money for cat food and materials.
Before I continue though, I want to thank everyone who has been able to help me so far. I wouldn't be able to be here without you. My cat wouldn't have food today without you as I've run out of all the back ups and contingencies I had this month. I am in a debt I can never repay to those of you who have reached out already with kind words, financial aid, and help with leads on work. I am a prideful person as well, and a large part of my inner self screeches at me when I write this post asking for more help.
I find it terrifying to ask for help for a lot of reasons, and in a day and age where things seem to be getting so much more awful, I am finding it even more difficult to advocate for my own needs. Right now, I do need help as I continue to search for work to help support this household's needs and dreams. We are all working hard on adjusting out of our current careers into more stable or better paying ones, and the transition has been rough with COVID, losing jobs, and expenses increasing rapidly.
At the moment, I need approximately $800 to continue the process of looking for work either locally or remotely and pay for my cat's food/meds, utilities, and basics/necessities. I'm doing my best to help out here with the food bank and attending to administration for household things and aid. In the meantime, if you're able to help, I know my cat can't understand what it means, but I can. It'll mean more time with my found family and in a place that at least tolerates who I am without as many violent overtures.
Venmo: https://www.venmo.com/u/Billy-Butler-25
PayPal: https://paypal.me/billybobbutler
I'm also seeking employment and have the following quick qualifications:
Over 14 years of combined professional experience in both private and public agencies.
Excellence in content production and management, customer service and support, analysis, and writing/editing.
Noted for creativity, resourcefulness, flexibility, high emotional capacity and intelligence, being a team player, and working well independently with minimal supervision.
High breadth of technical and soft skills with flexibility to rapidly learn new technology, skills, and communication styles and techniques.
Passionate about helping people as well as developing new ways to accomplish difficult tasks.
I have worked with the federal government, large international corporations, and even retail and grocery, so I'm well rounded and capable of quite a bit. I am seeking remote employment opportunities that can make use of my skills and doesn't require me to commute multiple hours a day or spent thousands of dollars to obtain. If you have a lead, let me know!
I am not talking about how much I actually owe right now because it hurts my entire face to imagine how dire things actually appear. I'm just trying to survive and find a foothold to get back on my feet to start tackling this debt again, but with student loans coming up... I am really afraid my background/credit check is going to cause me to not get jobs anymore. I owe a lot (several thousands in credit and way more in student loans) and am behind several months on multiple bills. We had to get a payment plan with the power company, thankfully they were okay with making one with us.
I don't know what my next stage in life is, but I do know that I haven't felt this desperate in a long time. I have less than I did when I moved up here many years ago. I'm beginning to have panic attacks when I wake up in the morning and sleep feels distant, unrestful, and strange. My nights have been relatively sleepless due to everything above alongside troubling long COVID symptoms.
I know things are tough right now, so I'm tempering myself for having to face major financial trouble in the coming weeks. Trying my best to not get mired down in how dark and hopeless this all seems, as well as how I am not sure I even have a future given what is happening in the world and with my life. Thanks for reading this and for your time, which is irreplaceable.
Hey again all, things didn't go through for the few interviews I had. Most of them ghosted, One of the callbacks did tell me that they wanted to hire me, but they eliminated the position during the process of discussion about the role. At least, there was that bit of niceness, but made me sad when they called me and ended up saying 'sorry'. The positive spin is that I have a higher than 1% return response rate again. For a while, it was under 1% and it was really frustrating me. I think we're returning to the base response rate of 5% that I used to have, but right now we're closer to 3 than 4 percent response rate.
I've spent the rest of my accumulated money on cat food and things like flour and butter for food purposes. The food bank has been helpful in supplementing, but I've had to get really creative to make meal planning not be sad. That unfortunately takes a lot of my space and time too since having to do things by foot and by hand takes a lot longer than just picking something up.
Insomnia is causing me trouble. It seems to be the stress of the situation overall and that I can't stop thinking about what if I don't find a job very soon. I have a lot of personal pride, so this situation has been really bad on my mental state. These thoughts are not very pleasant, but they're becoming more and more upsetting the longer I don't get /something/. I've started applying for jobs that now don't pay well and don't really match up with what I want or can do. I guess we'll see if we get anything from that pool.
So, again I ask for help. I need approximately 500 for rent and about 250 for necessities such as food and cell service and similar. I have budgeted out the necessities for the next month to keep searching for jobs/setting up my own business and trying to get gigs/getting income of some kind any kind. I'm not discussing the whole amount of what I owe, since I think I need to focus more on staying alive and trying to find work before worrying about student loans and credit bills. That said, I don't think my credit rating will ever recover in my life time at this point. Gods, that upsets me that folks check your credit rating as a part of the employment process. I can't wonder how many jobs I've lost access to because of that bullshit because it'll probably make me go nuts.
Venmo: https://www.venmo.com/u/Billy-Butler-25
PayPal: https://paypal.me/billybobbutler
You don't have to donate to help and some of you have helped me out already so much. Thank you for those of you who have done so already. You've gotten me here in a time of great darkness for me. Don't hesitate to share or just reach out or hang out with me on stream as I've been mostly using that as a way to virtually socialize in the time of the great COVID. So, please feel free to share or just say hi/condolences or to commiserate with me. It seems I'm not the only person having lots of trouble finding something, anything, for work, so know you're not alone. I'm trying to remind myself I'm not alone too.
I can't promise to pay folks back right now and I'm uncertain when things are going to get better, but I have to believe that I'm going to make it. Even if it's some way that I haven't foreseen or planned, I have to hope and think that right? Otherwise, it's a lot harder to live and wake every morning while struggling forward. It's already so very tough to get up in the morning these past few years, so I have to find whatever hope and help I can get.