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There is a healthy difference between being self-aware and being self-conscious. It is better to be more concerned with being empathetic towards others and caring about how they are feeling than it is to be concerned with how they are perceiving you.
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I am no longer in a place in my life where I have to cling tight to every single person who so much as expresses the slightest interest in being in my life. I have a quite stable chosen family, wonderful strong friendships, and I am financially stable. I am no longer at risk of ever becoming completely alone due to some singular mistake or failure to be charismatic and charming to people who already love me and care about me. I don't need to impress people I'm already very close to; and I don't need to be anxious about "losing" people I've only met a couple times.
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Sometimes, my extreme fear and anxiety about falling into old problem behaviors is in fact fuel on the fire that is the feeling of those behaviors returning. Relaxing and letting go and trusting myself not to do it again actually can help calm the feelings that resemble those old behaviors. It is okay to be excited. It is okay to be sad. It is okay to be hurt. I do not need to anxiously ruminate on if that is a problem. I just have to take my time and be mindful in my words and actions. If I am truly afraid of old mental illnesses coming back, I can actually talk to my trusted loved ones about it who already know about my history.
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A lot of problems in my life come from my inability to choose my battles. I pick a lot of fights I don't need to. I can be hot-headed and go into Fight Mode when the stakes are actually very low and if I said nothing at all there would be no consequences what-so-ever. I do not need to be quarrelsome with strangers online who have bad opinions. In the past, picking these fights was an important survival skill for protecting myself from actual threats and protecting my social standing when I was in a financial situation where being well-liked enough to have a supply of couches to crash on was the only thing keeping me from having to sleep on the street. I am now in a safe, stable, place in my life where if I completely abandoned social media I might miss it but I would not actually lose anything materially.
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The things stressing me out the most yesterday and today have "mild disappointment" as the worst possible consequence. Perhaps I do not need to worry about them so much.
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Ki anu... accountabilabuddy? body double? HaShem keeps me accountable. Maybe I can imagine that I am body doubling with HaShem, who is overcoming the executive dysfunction in the way of her healing someone's pain while I am washing dishes in the same room as her.
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If I volunteer at my synagogue it will ensure I actually go to services.
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I want a wifeguy in my life.
