I can shapeshift into a clown. I can easily shapeshift into a clown. I can instantly shapeshift into a clown. I can safely shapeshift into a clown. I can easily shapeshift into my original form. I can instantly shapeshift into my original form. I can safely shapeshift into my original form. I can change my DNA in an instant. I am always safe when shapeshifting. My body is always safe when shapeshifting. My mind is always safe when shapeshifting. I keep my human color vision in my clown form. My body masks my clown DNA. I appear completely human when in my human form. My body masks my human DNA when in my clown form. My spirit masks my clown aura and clown energy signature when I will it. My body absorbs every nutrient from the food I eat. I have full control over all of my forms. I innately know how to shift. I have full control of my shifts. I can easily tap into my subconscious mind. Psychic attacks are near impossible to execute upon me. My third eye is open wide. My chakras are safely open, activated and rejuvenated. Meditation comes easily to me. I can see and sense within my mind with absolute vividness and clarity as if in real life. Hypnosis works very well on me. I can easily break out of hypnosis or mind control at any time. I have perfect balance on any surface. I lose any fear of honks. I lose all fear of honks. I lose any fear of big clown shoes. I lose all fear of big clown shoes. I lose any fear of the unknown. I lose all fear of the unknown. I know when I am in danger and what to do about it. I am brave, strong and resilient. I tap into mime energy to make me a powerful shifter. I tap into jester energy to make me intelligent and clever. I tap into harlequin energy to make me brave and resilient. I am incredibly intelligent. I am incredibly clever. I am a powerful shifter. I can shapeshift at any time. When I am fully grown, my aging slows down. My lifespan is safely increased. My clown form ages as I do. My clown form has the color and pattern I want it to have. My face paint color in my clown form is rich and deep. My hair color in my human form is rich and deep. My clown form looks exactly like I want it to look. My clown form is beautiful. My clown form is extremely fast, strong, agile, and flexible. My human form is extremely fast, strong, agile, and flexible. My body is incredibly efficient in all forms to provide safe efficient transformation. I have boundless, resplendent energy. I can safely absorb and disperse massive amounts of kinetic energy. I land softly from falls of any height. I can easily fit in any clown car. I get stronger every full moon. Moonlight calms and refreshes me. I am tireless. I can safely go days without sleep. Three hours of sleep is like a full night’s rest for me. My digestive system safely digests beneficial food and drink at supernatural speeds. My digestive system intelligently utilizes anything beneficial and safely discards anything harmful. My digestive system is perfect in health and function. My digestive system is supernaturally efficient and able to extract maximum nutrition. I have enhanced senses. I have perfect vision. I have perfect hearing. I have a perfect sense of smell. I can track anything by scent alone. I have an incredible sense of direction. I can sense magnetic fields. I can use magnetic fields to know exactly where I am at all times. I enjoy all food. My clown form can safely withstand any temperature. My human form can safely withstand any temperature. I am comfortable in any temperature. My eye color is soft and stunning. I can make my eyes glow in the dark at will. I can see perfectly in any light level. I have perfect hearing. I safely and naturally repel biting insects. I safely and naturally repel stinging insects. My physical health is perfect. My mental health is perfect. I can heal any wound instantly at will. I can make wounds seal up in seconds. My body swiftly heals fatal wounds. I have a high pain tolerance. My body feels little pain because I can heal wounds instantly. I know when I am being hurt. I am meant to be a shapeshifter. I know that I am meant to be a shapeshifter. I know that I am a shapeshifter. I am immune to all forms of mind control. I am immune to all negative programming. I am the sovereign of myself. I have indomitable willpower. I can do anything if I put my mind to it. I have a natural connection to clowns. I can easily communicate with any clown. I can use telepathy with any clown. I love clowns. Clowns love me. I can shapeshift any part of my body into part of my clown form. I can summon the clown nose of my clown form while in my human form. I can easily and safely make sounds like a clown in my human form. I have retractable fangs in my human form. I can summon my fangs at will. I can retract my fangs at will. When my fangs are retracted they are impossible to detect. My retractable fangs are the perfect size for my mouth. My fangs are exactly how I imagine them. I have retractable clown shoes in my human form. When my clown shoes are retracted they are impossible to detect. I can summon my clown shoes at will. I can retract my clown shoes at will. My retractable clown shoes are exactly how I imagine them. I am a master of fighting with my clown shoes. I am a master of all forms of joking. I am a master of fighting in my clown form. I know when to talk and when to fight. I have supernatural intelligence. I am a great problem solver. I have perfect memory. I can easily remember massive amounts of related and unrelated information. I am extremely stealthy. I can travel anywhere without being seen or heard. I am a master survivalist. I can survive in the wilderness easily. I can go a long time without food or water. I can survive any situation. I am grateful for any animal that dies to sustain me. I am a master joker. I can easily detect lies. I have perfect balance. All my chakras safely open, unblock, rejuvenate and flow with boundless energy. I can shapeshift into a normal sized clown at will. I can shapeshift into a giant clown at will. My giant clown form is as large as I want it to be. I can shapeshift into an anthropomorphic, clown. My anthropomorphic, clown form is the height I want it to be. My anthropomorphic, clown form has the same color and pattern of my normal clown form. My anthropomorphic, clown form looks exactly how I want it to look…. I have a human mind in all of my forms…. I have full control in all of my forms…. I can hybridize my clown form with any of my other forms…. Any clothes I am wearing vanish when I shapeshift into a full clown. Any clothes I am wearing when I shapeshift into a full clown reappear on my body when I shapeshift into my original form. I intuitively know if it is a bad idea to shapeshift. I can sense other shapeshifters from miles away. I can see perfectly in pure darkness. I have a deep respect for nature. I have a deep respect for clowns. I can speak human languages while in my clown form. I can use any powers I have while in my clown form. All fillings, crowns, and cavities in my teeth are replaced with healthy tooth material. My teeth are perfectly white and healthy. My immune system is incredibly strong and safely wipes out all disease and cancer cells. My body is always safely full of energy and at peak performance. My mind is free of all limiting beliefs preventing me from reaching my goals. My mind is powerful. All positive and beneficial affirmations program my subconscious instantly. Affirmations I desire program my subconscious instantly. Affirmations I approve of program my subconscious instantly. I safely take in and absorb all subliminals. I bypass negativity to create instant and infinite results. All results gained from this subliminal are permanent.
- she/her
- shelraphen.com/
Mutant, librarian, poet, union rabble rouser, dog, Ashkenazi Jewish. Neuroweird, bodyweird, mostly sleepy.
I write about transformative justice, community, love, Judaism, Neurodivergence, mental health, Disability, geography, rivers, labor, and libraries; through poetry, opinionated essays, and short fiction.
I review Schoolhouse Rock! songs at @PropagandaRock
in reply to @shel's post:
yep someone leaked a mtg set and wotc decided the appropriate response was to sic the pinkertons on them
Didn't even leak it technically, the person was sent the wrong product by the distributor instead of what they actually ordered so it belonged to that person anyway
D&D is designed to be played with the mindset of Kevin McAllister or Elwood Blues, not a serious one
Yep, this is exactly right. And it's why I enjoy listening to Rude Tales of Magic: their show is like if D&D was used to write looney tunes episodes (most of the time)
I wish I could have read this in the 90s, I probably would have been less disappointed about how most of the sessions we had went.
I didn't like AD&D because it was hard to get my friends to play it seriously, but I also disliked the Palladium games because they were too focused on the realistic, so it felt like it took 2 hours to play out 20 seconds of action.
I never got to play any games that rode the middle well, and once TCGs took over I wanted nothing to do with any of it. (A quick explanation if anyone wants it, is that TCGs remind me of playing blackjack dealt from a shoebox.)
I know the game is actually much simpler now- you can probably tell how long it's been since I've really played anything from some of the things I've mentioned.
D&D is a competitive game between the DM enforcing the rule, and the players carefully and deliberately "not" breaking those rules. The goal for the players is that the DM is thirty seconds away from flipping the table over, for a whole hour.
One of my biggest gripes with D&D (5/6e specifically) is that it's an awful first system to learn, which is kind of a big problem when it's THE TTRPG. It gives most new people a distorted view of what learning a system requires. It's a system that on the face of it isn't as complicated as something like PF2e but is so inconsistent and lacking in large areas that it takes so much time to learn and homebrew into a fun game. PF2e is a big and in depth system with a good amount of things to juggle but I've still found it easier to play than 5e and from what I've seen, easier to GM too.