I can shapeshift into a clown. I can easily shapeshift into a clown. I can instantly shapeshift into a clown. I can safely shapeshift into a clown. I can easily shapeshift into my original form. I can instantly shapeshift into my original form. I can safely shapeshift into my original form. I can change my DNA in an instant. I am always safe when shapeshifting. My body is always safe when shapeshifting. My mind is always safe when shapeshifting. I keep my human color vision in my clown form. My body masks my clown DNA. I appear completely human when in my human form. My body masks my human DNA when in my clown form. My spirit masks my clown aura and clown energy signature when I will it. My body absorbs every nutrient from the food I eat. I have full control over all of my forms. I innately know how to shift. I have full control of my shifts. I can easily tap into my subconscious mind. Psychic attacks are near impossible to execute upon me. My third eye is open wide. My chakras are safely open, activated and rejuvenated. Meditation comes easily to me. I can see and sense within my mind with absolute vividness and clarity as if in real life. Hypnosis works very well on me. I can easily break out of hypnosis or mind control at any time. I have perfect balance on any surface. I lose any fear of honks. I lose all fear of honks. I lose any fear of big clown shoes. I lose all fear of big clown shoes. I lose any fear of the unknown. I lose all fear of the unknown. I know when I am in danger and what to do about it. I am brave, strong and resilient. I tap into mime energy to make me a powerful shifter. I tap into jester energy to make me intelligent and clever. I tap into harlequin energy to make me brave and resilient. I am incredibly intelligent. I am incredibly clever. I am a powerful shifter. I can shapeshift at any time. When I am fully grown, my aging slows down. My lifespan is safely increased. My clown form ages as I do. My clown form has the color and pattern I want it to have. My face paint color in my clown form is rich and deep. My hair color in my human form is rich and deep. My clown form looks exactly like I want it to look. My clown form is beautiful. My clown form is extremely fast, strong, agile, and flexible. My human form is extremely fast, strong, agile, and flexible. My body is incredibly efficient in all forms to provide safe efficient transformation. I have boundless, resplendent energy. I can safely absorb and disperse massive amounts of kinetic energy. I land softly from falls of any height. I can easily fit in any clown car. I get stronger every full moon. Moonlight calms and refreshes me. I am tireless. I can safely go days without sleep. Three hours of sleep is like a full night’s rest for me. My digestive system safely digests beneficial food and drink at supernatural speeds. My digestive system intelligently utilizes anything beneficial and safely discards anything harmful. My digestive system is perfect in health and function. My digestive system is supernaturally efficient and able to extract maximum nutrition. I have enhanced senses. I have perfect vision. I have perfect hearing. I have a perfect sense of smell. I can track anything by scent alone. I have an incredible sense of direction. I can sense magnetic fields. I can use magnetic fields to know exactly where I am at all times. I enjoy all food. My clown form can safely withstand any temperature. My human form can safely withstand any temperature. I am comfortable in any temperature. My eye color is soft and stunning. I can make my eyes glow in the dark at will. I can see perfectly in any light level. I have perfect hearing. I safely and naturally repel biting insects. I safely and naturally repel stinging insects. My physical health is perfect. My mental health is perfect. I can heal any wound instantly at will. I can make wounds seal up in seconds. My body swiftly heals fatal wounds. I have a high pain tolerance. My body feels little pain because I can heal wounds instantly. I know when I am being hurt. I am meant to be a shapeshifter. I know that I am meant to be a shapeshifter. I know that I am a shapeshifter. I am immune to all forms of mind control. I am immune to all negative programming. I am the sovereign of myself. I have indomitable willpower. I can do anything if I put my mind to it. I have a natural connection to clowns. I can easily communicate with any clown. I can use telepathy with any clown. I love clowns. Clowns love me. I can shapeshift any part of my body into part of my clown form. I can summon the clown nose of my clown form while in my human form. I can easily and safely make sounds like a clown in my human form. I have retractable fangs in my human form. I can summon my fangs at will. I can retract my fangs at will. When my fangs are retracted they are impossible to detect. My retractable fangs are the perfect size for my mouth. My fangs are exactly how I imagine them. I have retractable clown shoes in my human form. When my clown shoes are retracted they are impossible to detect. I can summon my clown shoes at will. I can retract my clown shoes at will. My retractable clown shoes are exactly how I imagine them. I am a master of fighting with my clown shoes. I am a master of all forms of joking. I am a master of fighting in my clown form. I know when to talk and when to fight. I have supernatural intelligence. I am a great problem solver. I have perfect memory. I can easily remember massive amounts of related and unrelated information. I am extremely stealthy. I can travel anywhere without being seen or heard. I am a master survivalist. I can survive in the wilderness easily. I can go a long time without food or water. I can survive any situation. I am grateful for any animal that dies to sustain me. I am a master joker. I can easily detect lies. I have perfect balance. All my chakras safely open, unblock, rejuvenate and flow with boundless energy. I can shapeshift into a normal sized clown at will. I can shapeshift into a giant clown at will. My giant clown form is as large as I want it to be. I can shapeshift into an anthropomorphic, clown. My anthropomorphic, clown form is the height I want it to be. My anthropomorphic, clown form has the same color and pattern of my normal clown form. My anthropomorphic, clown form looks exactly how I want it to look…. I have a human mind in all of my forms…. I have full control in all of my forms…. I can hybridize my clown form with any of my other forms…. Any clothes I am wearing vanish when I shapeshift into a full clown. Any clothes I am wearing when I shapeshift into a full clown reappear on my body when I shapeshift into my original form. I intuitively know if it is a bad idea to shapeshift. I can sense other shapeshifters from miles away. I can see perfectly in pure darkness. I have a deep respect for nature. I have a deep respect for clowns. I can speak human languages while in my clown form. I can use any powers I have while in my clown form. All fillings, crowns, and cavities in my teeth are replaced with healthy tooth material. My teeth are perfectly white and healthy. My immune system is incredibly strong and safely wipes out all disease and cancer cells. My body is always safely full of energy and at peak performance. My mind is free of all limiting beliefs preventing me from reaching my goals. My mind is powerful. All positive and beneficial affirmations program my subconscious instantly. Affirmations I desire program my subconscious instantly. Affirmations I approve of program my subconscious instantly. I safely take in and absorb all subliminals. I bypass negativity to create instant and infinite results. All results gained from this subliminal are permanent.
dnd is really interesting to me bc that slapstick element lives entirely in the culture around the game, & not really in the rules or materials at all. there are games designed to evoke that tone and dnd isn't one of them- it's just the culture of play that has built up over time, possibly because most players approached the game with a much less serious tone than it was written in. kind of a written torah vs oral torah situation.
btw if anyone reading this has only played dnd but wants to try and play a very mechanically different game that's intentionally built around characters being wildly out of their depth and things that go wrong in funny and escalating ways, I'd recommend trying Fiasco! it's not remotely similar in setting or mechanics but it does get at that tone of a plot coalescing by way of characters bumbling through a bunch of ludicrous shit. no idea if it'll be the same kind of fun for you but it was the one non dnd-like game my college ttrpg friends would always recommend to ppl who were only familiar with dnd, and it's also just a very cool game in its own right
How do I get my husband to stop going ‘Goblin Mode’ during sex?
TLDR; My husband says ‘Goblin Mode activated’ when we start to have sex, growls and acts like a caveman, and then says ‘Goblin Mode off’ when we stop, and then pretends not to remember afterward.
I really love my husband and he’s always been great in bed. But recently he’s been acting really weird. So, a couple of days ago, my son went on a rampage through our house and said he was in ‘Goblin Mode’. We didn’t really know what to do with him, so we sent him to live with my parents so he can go to a special needs school. My husband a really great relationship with our son and loved him more than anything. Naturally, he was upset when he had to leave. He’s an incredibly tough man, but this was the first time I’ve ever seen him cry. I think since then, he’s been a little emotionally unwell. I’ve heard him muttering, ‘Goblin’ repeatedly when he didn’t notice me, staring blankly into his food, and just going alone by himself to do who knows what. I feel awful for him, but we both agreed that this was for the best. Last night, the day after our son went away, we decided to have sex to relieve our stress. However, my husband said ‘Goblin Mode activated’, starting growling, and went wild having sex with me. Admittedly, it was some of the best and most experimental sex I’ve ever had, but I’m worried that something might be going on with my husband. Any advice?
Edit: The problem isn’t the ‘Goblin Mode’, it’s that he could be ill
it also does have slapstick in the mechanics, unintentionally. the fact that every roll is 1d20+mods without a probability curve means that you can be a level 10 "badass" and still whiff rolls on a ridiculously regular basis in a really jarring way. If I can be a rogue with +7 to my sneaking and I still fail the roll 1/3rd (35%) of the time (assuming the average dc of 15), I don't feel cool. I feel like a bumbling ass.
Games with dice pools or probability curves do not have this problem.
I like to creep around my home and act like a goblin
I don’t know why but I just enjoy doing this. Maybe it’s my way of dealing with stress or something but I just do it about once every week. Generally I’ll carry around a sack and creep around in a sort of crouch-walking position making goblin noises, then I’ll walk around my house and pick up various different “trinkets” and put them in my bag while saying stuff like “I’ll be having that” and laughing maniacally in my goblin voice (“trinkets” can include anything from shit I find on the ground to cutlery or other utensils). The other day I was talking with my neighbours and they mentioned hearing weird noises like what I wrote about and I was just internally screaming the entire conversation. I’m 99% sure they don’t know it’s me but god that 1% chance is seriously weighing on my mind.
