Aries: A vinaigrette of sprite and extra virgin olive oil. Fridge horror revelations about the cabbage in your crisper drawer. Seven hangnails. Love, at last.
Taurus: Musty oak. Vulva cream to detoxify and rejuvenate. Lavender. Ascorbic acid. Your tailbone talks back and your shoulder blades will listen. Flint meets fire.
Gemini: Being born in June made you good at managing spreadsheets. Dire frogs are worth 15% EXP this week and she more likely to drop pickled eyeballs. Embrace being pickled.
Cancer: Depression is just a flavor on a can of ice cream soup. Draw ten different shapes and hear ten different patterns of sound as the pencil scratches paper. Xenograph.
Leo: Volleyball was invented in Holyoke, Massachusetts. The new movie "Influencer" is now streaming on Shudder. Zest of two large grapefruits. Completely still.
Virgo: Being born in September made you good at designing elaborate chore charts. Make a new chore chart for your interactive digital pets. Tamagotchi are manufactured in a factory.
Libra: Natto on rice with a fresh raw egg. Don't forget the little mustard packet this week. Vitamin K is helpful for navigating tough conversations with coworkers. Zoinks.
Scorpio: Your ex is going to masturbate while thinking about you this week but only if you're willing to allow those vibrations into the universe you choose to inhabit. CBD infused maple honey stick.
Sagittarius: Give up on laundry and instead invent a new sauce for a new shape of pasta. It takes less time than you think for everything to work out in the end. Spaghetti on rice.
Capricorn: Smoky cedar. Moldy shared snorkels from the summer camp supply closet. Toasted marshmallow would be a good name for a cat you could call it Toastie for short. Toastie the Cat.
Aquarius: Being born in January made you good at carrying jugs of water to the ocean. Sea breeze. Low tide. Fiddler crab dens make little holes in the surface of the sand. Leave them be.
Pisces: ππ haha two of them
