shel

The Transsexual Chofetz Chaim

Mutant, librarian, poet, union rabble rouser, dog, Ashkenazi Jewish. Neuroweird, bodyweird, mostly sleepy.


I write about transformative justice, community, love, Judaism, Neurodivergence, mental health, Disability, geography, rivers, labor, and libraries; through poetry, opinionated essays, and short fiction.


I review Schoolhouse Rock! songs at @PropagandaRock


Website (RSS + Newsletter)
shelraphen.com/

The five sub-classes of thing enjoyers are as follows:

  • Friends
  • Fiends
  • Fans
  • Stans
  • Fetishists

Think about it: A skin fiend, a skin fan, a skin stan, a skin friend, and a skin fetishist all have massively different connotations, but still, all of these people LOVE skin.

Sometimes I entertain myself by idly thinking of the most abstracted and vague things for someone to enjoy in a community and, using these sub-classes of thing enjoyer, I imagine the community that enjoys these things in that particular way.

  • The Velocity Stans aggressively go after people who walk slowly

  • The Velocity Fiends drop pennies off of sky scrapers

  • The Velocity Fetishists make 2 hour "ASMR" YouTube compilations of basic shapes being launched VERY fast with geeky physics stats in the corner

  • The shape fandom is coming up with "Original Shapes" and arguing about if their new shapes are well rounded or too flat

  • The shape friends just collect smooth stones from the ground and polish them

  • The shape fetishists spend a lot of time messing with graphs

  • The altruism stans are discoursing about if you should tweet about what you did today that was altruistic

  • The altruism fiends are a pack of serial killers that go after landlords

  • The altruism fetishists have to constantly have complex ethics discussions re: informed consent

anything I do that is selfless or good just gets me so hot it feels like a violation of consent to point out to someone that they dropped their wallet because they don't know I'm getting off on it but I can't help how I feel and so what do I let them lose their wallet?! Help?!

However, you cannot apply this schema to Feet. I don't think there's any way to describe a Feet-Appreciation Community that doesn't sound horny. Sorry, Foot Fandom.


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