shel

The Transsexual Chofetz Chaim

Mutant, librarian, poet, union rabble rouser, dog, Ashkenazi Jewish. Neuroweird, bodyweird, mostly sleepy.


I write about transformative justice, community, love, Judaism, Neurodivergence, mental health, Disability, geography, rivers, labor, and libraries; through poetry, opinionated essays, and short fiction.


I review Schoolhouse Rock! songs at @PropagandaRock


Website (RSS + Newsletter)
shelraphen.com/

So having some nasty memory problems now cuz of the brain damage I’ve gotten into a pattern of treating past me and future me as different people I should be considerate and kind to, and to express gratitude for. Rather than living in the moment, which will result in kinda just doing nothing cuz my head hurts, I think about how to do kind things for future me.

It’s easy to stay motivated to do this because throughout my day I am frequently receiving wonderful surprises from past me. Because I don’t remember doing them. So I get home from concussion therapy feeling awful and wanting a treat and instead of in that moment going and buying a treat, I open my fridge and go OMG WTF PAST ME BOUGHT ME A TREAT?! I didn’t know this was here!! Thank you past me!!!

It’s like an advanced version of delayed gratification because I forget that I’m delaying the gratification.


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in reply to @shel's post:

i cannot even begin to understand exactly what you're going through with your TBI, nor am i pretending to, but my memory is so bad that this particular thing is very familiar. you aren't alone in this way, if that's any consolation.

also means its worth being kind to future you. paying it forward but its yourself,