shel

The Transsexual Chofetz Chaim

Mutant, librarian, poet, union rabble rouser, dog, Ashkenazi Jewish. Neuroweird, bodyweird, mostly sleepy.


I write about transformative justice, community, love, Judaism, Neurodivergence, mental health, Disability, geography, rivers, labor, and libraries; through poetry, opinionated essays, and short fiction.


I review Schoolhouse Rock! songs at @PropagandaRock


Website (RSS + Newsletter)
shelraphen.com/

the thing about the liberal arts is like, my experience attending a liberal arts college in a somewhat remote college town gave me a pretty fantastic education and much of the ways I write and critically analyze things that people praise me for came from receiving an interdisciplinary education from a bunch of weird professors on a farm who get excited about applying feminist theory to neuroscience papers or creating really surreal interactive theater in a service tunnel that's a commentary on the surveillance state. Also it was really pretty and I got to have a lot of unique and positive experiences that would probably otherwise be impossible to encounter otherwise.

But also there is a particular brand of extremely toxic "the personal is political" insane identity discourse and harsh judgement of peers that manifests on an isolated liberal arts campus that social media discourse has only recently begun to try and approximate. People in Philly stare at me like I'm from an alien planet when I talk about how during my senior year of college people said I was defending and upholding patriarchy by dating a manl; or how people were "held accountable" for associating with someone who during a class discussion "reified the legitimacy of borders, geopolitical and psychoanalytical" or something extremely abstract like that. I remember being told to "decolonize my gender" by one of the first people I told about my Gender Questioning Trans Feelings.

And yet in some ways it was like a four-year inoculation against the insanity that would become social media discourse. You can't make me see "theyfab discourse" as materially meaningfull. I already lived through "are street lamps inherently SWERFy" and "is it ableist to say that unhoused people would prefer to have housing."


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in reply to @shel's post:

I didn't go to a liberal arts school but i did go to a "fairly lefty" school in a famously liberal state (university of oregon) and all of this feels so real. I think back about a lot of the things that felt like life-and-death arguments in college and like... idk man.

we were having full-on ideological divisions over whether "bi" or "pan" was the 'correct' term. I once had someone have an entire call-in text message conversation with me because i said "i like femme women" in response to a tumblr ask about what kind of girls I liked. to this day i think "the personal is political" is a grossly misused phrase.

I genuinely believe it's sort of an ideological gauntlet that has really helped me in the way that i conceptualize various sociological things now (class, race, gender, nationality, etc etc etc) but also like. a lot of it was kind of silly when you look back on it.

It was so good. It was called Ophelia and it was a production of Hamlet from Ophelia’s perspective only, just the scenes she’s in, with no changes to the writing but a lot of changes to the directing and delivery to emphasize how Hamlet kinda sucks and basically terrorizes her life. The audience had to hold onto a rope pulled by a cast member through the tunnel as we traveled through the set from place to place. It represented how she has no agency in the story. Her life is on rails. The only choice is to move forward in one direction.

And there were CCTV cameras everywhere, decorated with flowers and glitter so they stand out. The overflow seating was an auditorium and you’d watch the play through CCTV feeds and so the alternative metaphor becomes about how under patriarchy her life is for the consumption of others, everything exists for those surveilling her socially. She is in a panopticon and must behave. Her choices reduced.

The theater program at my college was VERY good. Especially if you liked really experimental interactive stuff that involves being in really weird place at night time. Making every theater student put on an original productive their senior year meant every spring there’d be like thirty really cool original theater pieces by queerdos who studied theater and also the effects of LSD on cats or something.

The same year as Ophelia there was also a production of Hamlet that happened in the woods at night as just an open festival you were free to wander around and the characters of the story were just There playing out the plot going from place to place and you could choose to follow a specific character around and just observe their story or just ignore the main plot of Hamlet and hang out with random minor side characters doing circus performances or tarot readings or whatever. (The director had majored in Directing And Circus and was aiming to start a Cirque du Solei type troupe eventually)

If you ever have an excess of vacation time I highly recommend visiting Western Mass in the spring theater season then. 1. Fucking BEAUTIFUL nature 2. Yiddish Book Center 3. Sooooo much avante garde theater going on and a lot of it is free or cheap because it’s student productions.

Caveat: I was like 20 when I saw these productions and I’m not sure if I’d have been as impressed now. I think so though. They were good.