shel

The Transsexual Chofetz Chaim

Mutant, librarian, poet, union rabble rouser, dog, Ashkenazi Jewish. Neuroweird, bodyweird, mostly sleepy.


I write about transformative justice, community, love, Judaism, Neurodivergence, mental health, Disability, geography, rivers, labor, and libraries; through poetry, opinionated essays, and short fiction.


I review Schoolhouse Rock! songs at @PropagandaRock


Website (RSS + Newsletter)
shelraphen.com/

shel
@shel

It opens with a random stranger trying to set up the protagonist with her neighbor’s nephew while in line at a deli. Off to a great start.


shel
@shel

Also amused by them having every single Jewish food simultaneously on the table. There’s bagels and lox and kugels and blintzes it’s every holiday at once here.

ALSO THE LOVE INTEREST IS A DUNGEON MASTER?! omfg what?!


shel
@shel

There’s a gag where he drops what she thinks is a box with an engagement ring in it and it’s actually his dungeons and dragons dice. Amazing. Also loving how many gay cousins are at this family gathering.

Everyone is so overly invested in Rachel’s love life in a way that’s so realistic… I can tell Jews wrote this…

Also I think the grandma in this movie is the same as one of the grandmas in the other hallmark Chanukah movie from last year about the competing delis….

BFEJJDIF THERE’S A FAMILY HEIRLOOM DREIDEL?!?!


shel
@shel

I love how all these adult cousins playing dreidel and betting real money and acting like there’s strategy to this game.


shel
@shel

They had DREIDEL LIGHTS?! Christmas lights but dreidels?!?! Around a shrubs??! And they set the house on fire?! No wonder their house caught fire they’re doing such an abodah with that goyishe nonsense


shel
@shel

What’s weird is that there’s genuinely some good jokes in here that Vic Michaelis might have been involved in writing but they didn’t actually give any of the joke lines to Rachel so this movie stars a professional comedian but the professional comedian isn’t saying any jokes and is playing the completely unfunny straight man in this movie starring alongside D list hallmark actors far worse at acting and joke delivery


shel
@shel

Oh okay as the time loop goes on Vic gets more and more unhinged and this movie is very fun omfg I’m loving this


shel
@shel

THE LOVE INTEREST IS A LARPER LMFAO FANTASTIC


shel
@shel

“In these time loop movies the main character always has a big change she has to make in their life”

“The problem is my life is already perfect. No changes needed. No notes.”

Lmfao I love this movie actually this is even better than Chanukah on Rye


shel
@shel

She wrote a fantasy YA novel. Amazing. They’re going to a comic shop to consult nerds for advice on how to break the time loop. She’s researching time loops in comics. How is this a Hallmark movie.


shel
@shel

Why does this giant ashkenazi family in Jersey just recite the candle blessings in a straight dry monotone do they think the melody is copyrighted


shel
@shel

I love that she has to INVESTIGATE A MYSTERY using THE TIME LOOP to progress the story it’s like we’re playing fucking Zero Escape here omfg she’s just taking different paths in this visual novel it’s Who’s Lila over here we’re getting post modern with our romantic comedy hallmark movie here incredible incredibly incredible


shel
@shel

I love that the dynamic between our romantic pairing is like two comedians doing improv and workshopping bits for their podcast. And during the moments when they let Vic do comedy it’s so funny like there’s moments where they’re clearly just ad-libbing and it’s so good actually

This might actually be the Chanukah movie of all time this couple is actually convincing I love them


shel
@shel

THE LOVE INTEREST DRAWS FAN ART FOR THE PROTAGONIST’S FANTASY YA NOVEL AAAAHHHHHHHH WAIT I LOVE THIS MOVIE ACTUALLY?!


shel
@shel

THE BRITISH ACCENT IS FAKE?!?! HER COUSIN HAS A BROOKLYN ACCENT?!?!


shel
@shel

This movie might become an annual tradition oh this movie is so good


shel
@shel

I am happy to report that they’ve got the sufganiyot in the dragon van and they’ve picked up the yenta and they’re bringing her to the Chanukah party in Jersey WE ARE DOING IT


shel
@shel

If you dump the boyfriend he shows up at the Chanukah party?!?! OH NO!!!


shel
@shel

IM SCREAMING

OH NO SHE BROKE THE TIME LOOP IN THE TIMELINE SHE DOESNT GET THE BOY


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