Occasional reminder that using they/them pronouns for a specific person who clearly indicates a different set of pronouns is still misgendering. They are not "get out of jail free" pronouns. Defaulting to they/them for visibly trans people and not for people who look cis to you is also misgendering. Defaulting to they/them for everyone is fine I guess but asking everyone is better and establishing a culture where it's normal and unobtrusive to proactively indicate pronouns is better still.
I’ve noticed this thing a lot that some people do where when they dislike a trans woman suddenly she uses they/them pronouns now when she didn’t just a moment ago, and like, yeah that’s not cool even if she’s a jerk yknow. It’s one of the common red flags I see for when a trans woman is being held to a double standard for what kind of behavior deserves being shittalked and branded as dangerous etc
