shel

The Transsexual Chofetz Chaim

Mutant, librarian, poet, union rabble rouser, dog, Ashkenazi Jewish. Neuroweird, bodyweird, mostly sleepy.


I write about transformative justice, community, love, Judaism, Neurodivergence, mental health, Disability, geography, rivers, labor, and libraries; through poetry, opinionated essays, and short fiction.


I review Schoolhouse Rock! songs at @PropagandaRock


Website (RSS + Newsletter)
shelraphen.com/

Truly baffling to me every time a romance novel ends with a wedding proposal roughly one year or less after they finally got together at the end of the book. That’s insane. Sometimes they don’t even live together yet. I do not understand straight people.


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in reply to @shel's post:

IMHO i do not think you should get married if you have not argued about the dishes yet. every person has a different very specific set of opinions about dishes and most people have not self-reflected enough to realize that they are opinions and not objectively correct. Theres going to be some things you dont agree about and need to decide how or whether you can compromise on, and you should not be doing that work for the first time after financially and legally saddling yourself to someone!!! Living alone and not having to argue with anyone about dishes (or worry that other ppl are silently resenting my dishes) has made me never want a nesting partner again 🤣

I feel like I think about the level of commitment involved just in nesting with someone as being as huge as these straight people treat the level of commitment involved in marriage. Like, if breaking up means having to find new housing and disentangle a shared home that's already to me as destabilizing and expensive and messy as a divorce. A divorce is much much much worse but it would still be a huge risk