shel

The Transsexual Chofetz Chaim

Mutant, librarian, poet, union rabble rouser, dog, Ashkenazi Jewish. Neuroweird, bodyweird, mostly sleepy.


I write about transformative justice, community, love, Judaism, Neurodivergence, mental health, Disability, geography, rivers, labor, and libraries; through poetry, opinionated essays, and short fiction.


I review Schoolhouse Rock! songs at @PropagandaRock


Website (RSS + Newsletter)
shelraphen.com/

I wonder what it will take for people to learn that it's weird and uncomfortable and achieves nothing positive to just directly tell strangers in the internet about how sad you are. Like I just don't really get what is accomplished by this. What is even being sought?

Like, I have a lot of very negative experiences and circumstances in my life that were quite traumatic and awful but what do I or anyone get out of telling strangers about it?

Do you expect a response from me where I say something that makes you feel better? Because I'm not doing that. If you feel like you wasted your youth that's on you buddy. I feel I spent my youth well just by keeping myself alive, personally speaking.

Or do they just forget that whatever they put in my comments is sent directly to me and shown to me for me to read? That they're not just blogging in their own space but actually saying things directly into my inbox? Do they think I'm not reading what they say?

I know this is the autism website and everyone's social skills suck but I don't even understand what's happening here that you'd need a social skill to know not to do it. Like what is the enjoyed benefit of saying it in my comments versus on your own blog? Are you just not thinking? Are you trying to make me uncomfortable on purpose?

I swear I should just start blocking people for this. It's the only way to make people stop doing it.


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in reply to @shel's post:

I think that's an incredibly valid reason to block someone. I think being on the internet is way more bearable when you are more inclined to filter out stuff that isn't what you want.

I don't agree with that at all, even a little bit.
If you make a decision based on the information I just gave you, I'm glad to have been helpful. (For real, I am genuinely glad. If people see me and think "I don't want to interact with that person", I think that is valid.)

This is about proactively sending venting to strangers via asks or comments instead of posting it on your own feed. That's not people seeing you, that's you throwing your vent at someone else you've never met before.

It really shouldn't be on the stranger to block you vs on you to not vent at them and instead vent on your own profile or with friends.

idk, i think we're all just screaming into the void here. Any text input field on the internet counts as the void. If it screams back, all the better. I'm not saying that's a good way to internet, but I think it's definitely how people do it, realistically. I think it's absolutely correct to block a person if you don't like an interaction.

My inbox is, in fact, not "the void" and I am not "the void." Everyone on the internet is a real person who you are speaking to and the things you say to them cause reactions in them emotionally. If you want "the void" say it on your own blog or in a journal or something, not into someone's inbox

Or do they just forget that whatever they put in my comments is sent directly to me and shown to me for me to read? That they're not just blogging in their own space but actually saying things directly into my inbox? Do they think I'm not reading what they say?

I think this is exactly it. Main character syndrome of some kind.

A lot of behavior has the general vibe of "doesn't understand there's another full, real person on the other end" and yeah, the more I pick up on it the more I just want to block people. I think another way it happens is someone is just really doing poorly, has no one IRL to talk to, and is desperate for an outlet. Which also, not great for anyone!

This was me once upon a time, and it definitely, horridly sucks. I'm thankfully not in a position where I'm in desperate need of venting, nor do I get randomly traumadumped (anymore), but it's hard for me to know what to say cause I've been on that other side and feel it hard.