sirocyl

Content notice: Spooky audio, some possibly annoying binaural telephone noises.
Mixed for stereo separation. Listen through headphones or a good room-size stereo monitor.
Using psychoactive substances while listening is not a good idea whatsoever.
I take no responsibility for you having such a bad trip.

I uh, put the transcript of the call from "I broke IKEA" into Google TTS, including all the 8's I cut out from that audio (it was 2:24 before editing, just for comparison.)

I was fighting with the API sometimes, it would 400 out because my "sentences" were "too long" or "produced too much audio", lol.

Got some fun results, so I threw this together. Hope it turned out alright.

Thanks to this post for the idea:

For a transcript, see the original post, "I broke IKEA."

games are conversations between the developers and the players. my games are more like deeply intense tongue kissing, however

games are conversations between the developers and players. and unfortunately i stutter and mumble a lot

games are conversations between the developers and players. mi toki ala e toki pi jan musi

games are conversations between the developers and the players. so how was your day

games are conversations between the developers and the players. "To continue in English, please press 1️⃣."

(or, well, one of their delivery services.)

🔊 Just a fair warning - there are some perhaps annoying glitch sounds in the attached recording. The volumes are normalized to limit loud spikes, as they were a lot worse in person. 😅

See also, the sequel: I broke Google TTS.

so, my phone service has a rather clever anti-spam tactic, which works like this:

• I receive a phone call from an unknown number, and it goes through screening when I answer it. It rings until the fifth ring, the voicemail greeting plays out, then I've got 30 seconds to judge if it's a spam robocall or if it's genuine
• If it's okay, I press 1, and it interrupts the ring/voicemail sequence and I answer the call like usual.
• If it's spam, I press ### (the # key by itself normally opens my PBX menu, so it doesn't go through) and hang up immediately.

Pressing ### and hanging up, will shove the call to voicemail, then launch a "DTMF bomb", which is a rapid sequence of over a hundred tones of DTMF keysmash, even including some of the "ABCD" keys. This has blown up spammers' cheapass PBXes, especially ones with poor security and too much trust given to the DTMF decoder on the call server.

So, when IKEA called from a random 1-877 number to confirm my furniture shipment worth $1200 (that's the equivalent of blåhaj!), the only thing it said is "To continue in English, please press 1."... and I had no idea who it was, immediately thought it was spam, and did the ### gesture. Oops.

What follows is a transcript of the call in the recording above.