hi i'm siz

I had a good evening last night but it ended on the note that where I discovered a fanfic that I really wanted to reread was deleted by the author.

I’m… kind of impressed with the degree of sadness I got from that? No one is obligated to share what they create with any other person, and especially with personal work and fan works I would never hold it against the author/creator for taking down something they no longer felt like sharing. (It would be pretty hypocritical of me if I did, considering I have deleted artworks I don’t want online anymore!)

At the end of it I kind of just have to tell myself the sadness is a good thing because it means I really loved experiencing that art while I could. And also to download the stuff I really want to revisit.

I experienced a moment of pure unadulterated joy yesterday because on the way to the mailbox I noticed that a branch was stuck in one of the trees in the yard. So I pulled that broken branch down, looked upward, and realized there were quite a few other broken branches stuck in the branches and leaves.

So I made the spontaneous decision that I had a very big stick, and I NEEDED to try and use it to knock down some more sticks. I managed to wrestle two unwieldly broken branches out of that tree. Ridiculously fun. And I would have completely missed out on that if I had just decided to not be the person who went out to get the mail that day.

so... it's been about six months since I last uploaded something to any of the art gallery sites I'm part of. it seems as good a time as any for reflections and updates.

essentially, since August 2022 i've been dealing with cubital tunnel syndrome and other vague overuse injuries in my in my upper back/shoulder. What I initially thought-- and by extension my doctor also probably thought-- was that a few weeks of rest would take care of it. That obviously hasn't been the case and I feel that the source of my injuries has probably been years of hardcore computer use. I coped with the onset of the pandemic by getting lost in my computer, the results of that simply are what they are.