People always have the most uncreative "what I'd do with a time machine" stories.
"Oh I'd stop 9/11" You absolute simpletons. Pea-brained knuckledraggers. If I got a time machine you wouldn't hear from me until everyone in Spain was speaking Arabic and the only notable religious organization in central Italy was a modest temple to the Hittite storm god Tarḫunna. I'm fucking EVERYTHING up. Can't have 9/11 if America doesn't exist
- figure out which prehistoric flood caused flood mythologies to exist in almost every cultural tradition
- throw like, a shitton of rubber duckies into that body of water right before the flood breaks
- return to the present
concentrate all my stinky farts in one spot in spacetime