Alice Lia Maro

See, if you were some kind of really big candle, or perhaps a mechanical boar, you could probably get away with burning down the sacred forest. But you're just a regular BPD wreck who spends too much time on Instagram, so the fae folk really won't know what to make of that. You're just an absolute fucking mess, who can't keep a handle on their life for a single second, who wants to get the lowest credit score possible so you can get in the book of credit score world records, and the frogs and sparkling bush wizards aren't going to accept that. I think if you could start the fire from WITHIN the golden tree then it'd be alright. 'The Tree Decrees', as they say. If the tree decrees an unending inferno then it must be the will of the Gods (except the Trickster Wilhelm, naturally). Getting into the golden tree, however, is the issue. If you could put down Instagram for a single second, for once in your sad life, maybe you could befriend the golden goblin. But I just don't think you have the gumption.